Measuring amongst other things!

Someone please explain why?

a) you measure the available space for a model railway, then construct the baseboard only to find that it's two inches (5cm to the unknowing) longer than the space available.

b) you measure your longest loco and make suitable allowance in the headshunt of your run round facility only to find after laying the track that the loco is too long for the headshunt.

c) you have six pints in the local and chat up the really gorgeous barmaid, only to find the next time you go for a pint that she's got hairy armpits and smokes & farts like a bloke - not to mention looking like a bloke too.

d) the wife asks you how she looks after spending two hours getting ready for the meal you're taking her for on your anniversary, you say fine, so she breaks down in tears and say you didn't even look at her.

Any thoughts or other examples?

John.

Reply to
John Turner
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The message from "John Turner" contains these words:

If you knew the answers to any of your points, you could write a book. However the librarians would put it in the fiction section...

Reply to
David Jackson

I do believe it to be known as the "Hullistic" effect.

Reply to
Peter Abraham

In message , Peter Abraham writes

I thought the Hullistic effect involved losing to St Helens.

Reply to
Jane Sullivan

On 10 May, 22:12, "John Turner" wrote: " Someone please explain why ?

a) you measure the available space for a model railway, then construct the baseboard only to find that it's two inches (5cm to the unknowing) longer than the space available.

b) you measure your longest loco and make suitable allowance in the headshunt of your run round facility only to find after laying the track that the loco is too long for the headshunt.

c) you have six pints in the local and chat up the really gorgeous barmaid, only to find the next time you go for a pint that she's got hairy armpits and smokes & farts like a bloke - not to mention looking like a bloke too.

d) the wife asks you how she looks after spending two hours getting ready for the meal you're taking her for on your anniversary, you say fine, so sh breaks down in tears and say you didn't even look at her.

Any thoughts or other examples ? "

In order to possibly answer 'a' or 'b' I have to ask were these points discovered after 'c' ?

As for 'c' itself, it's possibly something similar to the things I use to see when 'working the door' at a couple of our local night clubs. For example guy out of his skull on drink swaggers / staggers up to a girl waiting for a taxi home and attempts to ask her our etc. etc. He remembers it as 'almost a pull' ( she has to go wash her hair or get up early next day for work ) and she is well impressed with him .... everyone else sees it as him leaning on her for support, being sick over her and getting a knee in a place where, due to the alcohol, does not register until the morning.

What can one say about 'd' .... we can send men to the moon, split the atom and even make rabbits glow green in the dark !! but, like the Lock Ness Monster, we may never really know the answer.

This may however answer your question

Adam was feeling lonely in the Garden of Eden, and so God said: "I can create a woman for you."

"What's that?" asked Adam.

"Oh, it's something really nice", God replied. "Lovely to look at, gentle, kind, sex whenever you want it, never has a headache..."

"Sounds great", said Adam, "but I bet it doesn't come cheap. What'll it cost me?" "An arm and a leg", God replied.

Adam thought about it for a minute, then asked: "What can I have for a rib?"

The rest is history...

OR

A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel.

Their double room reservation has been messed up and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds and there is a raised beam on the floor between the beds which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes.

When they go to bed the husband switches the light off and says to his wife "how about a bit of nookie then?" she agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying "oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you" She lies next to him in bed and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again her husband says " can't you pick your b$%@#y feet up woman."!!!

Hope this helps !

Reply to
Dragon Heart

When I was building my layout I made the baseboards in sections so they could be removed from the layout room.

Baseboard "A" was the helix which I built as a box for rigidity and protection of the fragile helix structure. The sides were made so it could just fit through the door way on it's side. The L shaped passageway fixed that! I was left with the baseboard balanced on one corner jambed in the doorway while I (with only one leg) trimmed an inch off the top with a jigsaw to free it. Baseboard "B" needed to be maximum length so I measured the height of the doorway and subtracted 1/4". I overlooked the carpet inside the layout room and the metal kick strip. The baseboard when completed was a press-fit in the doorway. (removing 1/4" length from a completed baseboard is more complicated than you might first imagine. Baseboard "C" was fine, but needs some major alteration to suit the new layout room.

Regards, Greg.P.

Reply to
Greg Procter

"Jane Sullivan" wrote

And Hull KR (spit)! ;-)

John.

Reply to
John Turner

The "measure once, cut twice" method ;-)

MBQ

Reply to
manatbandq

Greg,

You might have been quicker rebuilding the house :-)

Jim.

Reply to
Jim Guthrie

" snipped-for-privacy@hotmail.com" wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com:

...

I always thought that it was measure twice, cut thrice then strike with hammer?

Reply to
Chris Wilson

The Liverpool screwdriver.

Reply to
Christopher A.Lee

Your jest has more truth in it than you may imagine. I know a builder who told me that when he worked piecework on a building site, he and his contemporaries really did drive screws in with a hammer, as it was quicker than doing the job properly.

Don't think it was in Liverpool, though.

PhilD

Reply to
PhilD

PhilD said the following on 11/05/2007 13:47:

There are actually screws you can get that are designed to be hammered in. They're called Hammer Screws (unsurprisingly!)

Reply to
Paul Boyd

I recall the horror as the chippie gang at Vickers (Barrow) constructed the inner bulkheads and deckheads of our brand new polaris submarine using no more than a hand saw, a hammer and screws ( before the days of hammer in screws).

Reply to
Peter Abraham

Paul Boyd wrote in news:46447462$0$8724 $ snipped-for-privacy@ptn-nntp-reader02.plus.net:

Fitting for Russian tanks were often assembled in this way - with ordinary srcews. The build quality was so bad that when they were exported to other Warsaw Pact countries the whole tank was often taken apart and re-built piece by piece before they could be used.

Reply to
Chris Wilson

You're allowed to use either now, it's legal.

Yes, why is it that when I phone someone who's unemployed, they're always busy? Examples: "Sorry I can't talk rightnow, I'm busy" "Have you watched that video I lent you three months ago?" "No, sorry, I've been busy. Haven't had a chance to watch it yet"

Why do women always ask "Has anyone seen my best scissors". Surely scissors are scissors? Could she mean those ones I found in her sewing draw which are the only ones strong enough to cut metal?

Why is that whenever you need to buy two of something there's never a two-for-one offer?

Why is it that only modern image models are offered with built-in sound? I may be blind and senile but I'm not yet deaf.

(kim)

Reply to
kim

"kim" wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@giganews.com:

...

LOL! That one's responsible for me getting the cold shoulder on more than one occassion.

Reply to
Chris Wilson

When I used to work on site they had just started to bring in these battery drill / screwdrivers. One of our subcontract joiners got himself one and for the first half hour on site he was showing it off to his mates. Now the best way to describe this chap was he was the chippy version of Tim The Tool Man Taylor aka Tim Allen !

First job of the day he set himself up to screw some timber framing inside the existing building, the 6" screw went straight in .... and also through the existing timber which unfortunately had a live power socket on the other side.

He was OK but his new drill had screwed it's first and last screw !

If I may add another well know saying " If all else fails use 6" nails "

Reply to
Dragon Heart

What gets me is when they ask " Has anyone seen my best scissors / keys / purse / a screwdriver ( that one always worries me ) / TV remote " etc. etc. and we say " Did you put it back in it's right 'home' the last time you had it / them " you get the reply " I can't think of everything / I was busy / I have to multi task " etc. etc.

Everyone uses a screwdriver to open tins of paint etc. but you use one big enough for the job ... not my electrical tester or a bradall !

.... but I still love 'er

Reply to
Dragon Heart

"Christopher A.Lee" wrote

Nah, that's the lump hammer. ;-)

John.

Reply to
John Turner

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