ten commandments of welding
1. thou shalt not weld on an unpurged tank,
for the noise will be very loud when the tank explodes and thy friends will console thy widow in ways generally unacceptable unto thee.
2. thou shalt secure thy tanks,
lest one fall on thy foot and transform thee into less than a graceful dancer when called upon by thy wife or other female friend.
3. thou shalt clean thy work carefully,
lest thee gaze upon thy work falling apart as it passeth out of sight.
4. thou shalt place thy work in jigs,
or other holding fixtures for thy eye is a poor instrument for the measurement of angles and great will be the wrath of thy leader as thou art doing thy task a second time.
5. thou shalt not weld near batteries,
compressed gasses, or flammable materials lest a spark from thy labors create a fire which cause thee to continue thy chosen profession in an open field or other such drafty place.
6. thou shalt take great care of thy tools and equipment,
lest thy friend who is in charge of such things smites thee about thy head and shoulders for being a wastrel and a knave.
7. thou shalt not perform thy art without proper ventilation,
for the smell of toxic gasses produced by the heating of primers, and painted or plated surfaces is worse than a bad cigar and will remain with thee until the end of thy days.
8. thou shalt not weld without goggles,
nor shalt thou allow others to gaze upon thy labors, lest thy employment, or the employment of others be changed to sitting on cold and rainy streets while selling pencils.
9. thou shalt wear sturdy gloves,
for burns upon thy hands are a source of great pain when thou art attempting to raise thy bowling average.
10. thou shalt ground thy work,
when thou weldeth with a machine of arcs, for thou art a poor conductor of electricity and the shock which thou shalt receive shall ruin thy plans for thy weekend.