Subject: 15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time
- Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in house wares,'...and see what happens.
- Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
- Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
- Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
- While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
- In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
- Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! No! Not those voices again'. .... and last but not least,
- Go into a fitting room and yell real LOUD "We're out of toilet paper in here"!