OT: 15 Things to Do at Wal-Mart

Subject: 15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time 1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't
looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in house wares,'...and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone? 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'. 12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!' 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! No! Not those voices again'. .... and last but not least, 15. Go into a fitting room and yell real LOUD "We're out of toilet paper in here"!
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sweet time

aren't looking.
We used to play this in Uni., calling it "shopping for others". It is funnier and less risky if the shopee is with a small child ;-)

intervals.
house wares,'...and see what happens.

Done that as well - under a big sign that said "we carry to your car" I handed the colleague (UK residents now which supermarket this was) a toothbrush ;-)

only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

you people just leave me alone?

pick your nose.

knows where the anti- depressants are.

'Mission Impossible'.
And this. Got thrown out...

funnels.
PICK ME!!!!!!'

position and scream 'NO! No! Not those voices again'.
So that's what they are; I am glad others can hear them to.

in here"!
LOL! Doing that tomorrow ;-)
-- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Richard Parkin UKRA 1268 L1
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever" - Anonymous. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Have you ever been in a Wal-Mart when you've heard, over the P.A. system, something like "Security, please scan and record section 17"?
This is done randomly to intimidate shoplifters and give the general public the impression that their every move is being watched and recorded. It also gives the general public the feeling that they're living in a "Big Brother"-style society, which thanks in part to Wal-Mart they are, but I digress.
Anyway, the point of this post is to convey yet another "diversion" with which these P.A. announcements may be leveraged to give the more adventurous among us hours and hours of unceasing entertainment.
Next time you're in Wally-World, and you hear the dreaded "Security, please scan and record section 17" message, have a little fun. Begin staring suspiciously at a customer (preferably one with a cart full of expensive merchandise), and when he/she notices you and begins to seem concerned, speak into your lapel as if you're talking into a microphone. "Roger, security, this is spotter number 3, I am in section 17 and I have the suspect in sight. Do you have me on camera now? Good! Continue surveillance? Roger....".
Then watch in amusement as they ditch their shopping cart and leave Wally-World, never to return again after such dehumanizing treatment! Or summon the store manager and severely berate him for having been treated like a common criminal!
MWU Ha Ha ha ha...... I kill me!
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p.s. this last statement was made in jest, and not meant as a threat of violence against myself in any way which might make me a terrorist suspect under the Patriot Act. I hereby apologize and bow before the greatness and munificence of our imperious leaders, and beg their indulgence for my petty and immature act, and promise never to do it again after I am released from Gitmo and my cavities have been searched and declared pure,
Amen.
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BB wrote:

I just thought you were quoting ALF...
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ALF? The Animal Liberation Front, a well-known domestic terrorist organization? No sirree, not me, never even heard of 'em! ;O)
p.s. Anyone have any cat recipes?
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A light BBQ sauce after proper open pit roasting is a preferred way to serve. However finding that just right wine is very difficult with feline. May I suggest a fine vintage of Thunderbird, it was a good week though!!!
-- Dale
wrote:

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writes:

http://www.encompasserve.org/~kaplow_r/HAZMAT_CHILI.TXT
Cat meat should be a fine substitute for pork. The OTHER other white meat...
Or if you don't want to do it yourself, jsut pick up a can of Campbell's Cat Chowder next time you're at the supermarket.
    Bob Kaplow    NAR # 18L    TRA # "Impeach the TRA BoD"         >>> To reply, remove the TRABoD! <<< Kaplow Klips & Baffle:    http://nira-rocketry.org/LeadingEdge/Phantom4000.pdf www.encompasserve.org/~kaplow_r/ www.nira-rocketry.org www.nar.org
Save Model Rocketry from the HSA! http://www.space-rockets.com/congress.html
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Tom, and others if you really want to get annoying/obnoxious (not that I would know anything about this.) but if you can watch an associate pick up the phone and dial in the code to go on the PA system. Remember it and when no one is around pick up the phone and dial the correct digits and say "Attention K Mart Shoppers a blue light special right now in the pharmacy all prozac one half price." Then of course BUG OUT!
Or if this is to much try (with a partner of course) walk in and sing from the beginning the song 'My Boomerang won't come back' in harmony of course. A friend and I used to do this in Woolworth's (remember them?) and it drove them bonkers. -- Dale

his/her
they
in
you'll
can't
from
size
ME!
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some phone systems you can do this with. find out the pa number they dial. go to a payphone and call the store and ask to be transferred to that extension. will drive them nuts trying to figgure out how someone is using the pa but not using oneof the phones inthe store.
--
Tater
President of MARS Club
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David Erbas-White wrote:

If those delightful anti-shopplifiting tags can be de-gaussed, one might slap an adhesived, degaussed tag on a 'friend' or their shopping cart. Then when the alarm goes off and security comes running, tell him, "See! I told you not to do it! I told you they'd catch ya!"
Scott
--
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DIY Piezo-Gyro, PCB Drill Bot & More Soon!
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Yea, I always wanted t play games with those tags. Especially the ones that come stuck inside shrink wrapped merchandise like DVDs. I wonder if the mail order ones are degaussed (or whatever it is that they do to them).
In one of those almost Darwin stories, I recently heard that a thief ripped the security tags off a dozen items of clothes and walked out of the store with them. Unfortunately, he put all the tags he removed from the clothes in his pocket :-(
    Bob Kaplow    NAR # 18L    TRA # "Impeach the TRA BoD"         >>> To reply, remove the TRABoD! <<< Kaplow Klips & Baffle:    http://nira-rocketry.org/LeadingEdge/Phantom4000.pdf www.encompasserve.org/~kaplow_r/ www.nira-rocketry.org www.nar.org
Save Model Rocketry from the HSA! http://www.space-rockets.com/congress.html
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Bob Kaplow wrote:

Rooting around the net, I find someone thinks they are magneto-strictive and emit ultrasound at 58 Khz, unless they have been de-magnetized, and vibrate at twice that frequency. Sounds credible to me. So to activate them, I guess you would just re-magnetize them to the appropriate level.

I guess you might have to carry the magnetizer with you, or carry them in shielded in Mu-metal, lest you get caught bringing tags into the store.
Another mean thing to do would be to plant an ultrasonic (or perhaps induction coil) device near the detector, and hang outside, triggering it when people walk out.
Probably a bad idea, some security people have a poor sense of humor.
Scott
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They never have the sensors on the IN doors...

Which is why it's so much fun to mess with their tiny minds...
    Bob Kaplow    NAR # 18L    TRA # "Impeach the TRA BoD"         >>> To reply, remove the TRABoD! <<< Kaplow Klips & Baffle:    http://nira-rocketry.org/LeadingEdge/Phantom4000.pdf www.encompasserve.org/~kaplow_r/ www.nira-rocketry.org www.nar.org
Save Model Rocketry from the HSA! http://www.space-rockets.com/congress.html
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sweet time

aren't looking.
Humerous.

intervals.
Cute.
GROSS!
house wares,'...and see what happens.
Code 3 here is spilled milk.

Not a joke, have you seen what M&M's sell for lately?

Sounds like kid with full Pampers.

only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
There would be too many takers here.

you people just leave me alone?
Wouldn't work. No one will ask if you need assistance.

pick your nose.
Also whistle "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay."

knows where the anti- depressants are.
The guy working in Sporting Goods at our local store, is also a Postal worker from the main branch. Scary!

'Mission Impossible'.
They'd just assume you're looking for a parking place inside the store.

funnels.
Pass. Sounds too much like the cross dresser thread.

PICK ME!!!!!!'
Could be dangerous, people here carry guns like some carry credit cards.

position and scream 'NO! No! Not those voices again'.
I've actually seen that one done.

in here"!
Good one!
Randy
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PICK ME!!!!!!'

Something along this idea that I've seen done. I work for the local Coca Cola distributor as a delivery driver. I was training a new driver one day, and we were inside the cooler stocking the door slides. He thought it would be funny to grab this lady's hand when she opened the door, and reached in for a bottle. It was hilarious!!! On the bad side though, the poor lady darned near had a heart attack. She was laughing about it after she finally caught her breath, which took a good 5 minutes. She said she would never again be able to just reach in, and grab a bottle without looking first. David NAR#79313
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my dad used to wait in the garage for the mailman, then pull the letters and bark when the slot opened.
got to be real friendly with one of the mailmen. then one day there was a substitute on the route ...
-- these are the good old days Cliff Sojourner snipped-for-privacy@employees.org

ME!
day,
would
finally
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I *TOLD* you I wasn't the only one. :-)
Tina
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