A Locksmith

Jan 17, 2006 Last reply: 20 years ago 11 Replies

A Locksmith



His office is a truck or van, And there he hides his master plan. For he has secret tools of the trade, To help with the messes that we've made.



There isn't much that he can't fix, with drills and blades and files and picks. With bolts and tumblers, pins and cams, He gets us out of awful jams.



He knows what locks are all about, and lets us in or gets us out. He has a helper he calls "Slim", whose name I think is really "Jim".



He keeps away-unwanted guests, from homes and safes and shops and chests. If there's a need to be set free, He is the man who holds the key.



Larry Howland, Author


g'day


His office is a cardboard box or a flophouse, And there he sleeps, s**ts and gets himself soused. For he has cheap made from sweeper bristles or sold to him by over priced wholesalers. As he gets sucked in by those railroaders.

There isn't much that he can fix, even with drills, blades, files and his dick. With bolt cutters and incantation utters, He digs himself a hole from which he mutters.

He knows a lock in a quip but can't open one without a rotary pick. He has a lover he calls "Slim", whose name is really "Jim". Jim fills slim with quimm. Maybe his name is Tim?

He keeps away-unwanted guests, because he refuses to bathe. And crawls with lice, bugs and disease.

If there's a need to be gyped. Call a smith today and get clipped.

It is further alleged that on or about 17 Jan 2006 16:36:24 -0800, in alt.os.windows-xp, the queezy keyboard of "lester" snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com spewed the following:

| |'Key wrote: |> A Locksmith | |His office is a cardboard box or a flophouse, |And there he sleeps, s**ts and gets himself soused. |For he has cheap made from sweeper bristles or sold to him by over |priced wholesalers. |As he gets sucked in by those railroaders. | |There isn't much that he can fix, |even with drills, blades, files and his dick. |With bolt cutters and incantation utters, |He digs himself a hole from which he mutters. | |He knows a lock in a quip |but can't open one without a rotary pick. |He has a lover he calls "Slim", |whose name is really "Jim". |Jim fills slim with quimm. |Maybe his name is Tim? | |He keeps away-unwanted guests, |because he refuses to bathe. |And crawls with lice, bugs and disease. | |If there's a need to be gyped. |Call a smith today and get clipped.

Twittering One, izatchoo?

Jeeze, at least get your slang right fella.

Quimm (quim) ain't what you're trying to describe there, look it up....

Which remids me....

Sighed the queen to a sheep-tending vassal, Ere she snuck him back into the castle, "Both my mouth and my quim, Will perform at your whim, And besides, handsome vassal, my ass'll."

Jeff

hey, its just joke a poem. chill !!

Hey, a job worth doing is worth doing right!

I wuz joking too y'know....

Jeff (Who IS chilling, it wuz 10F here in Red Sox country a coupla days ago.)

<kaploink!><kapow!><kazhhhing!><fazeeng!><shazeeng!><kapeeng!><slash!><ka-bash!><ka-boink!><poink!><ka-bleenk!><ka-chow!!><cha-cheeng!><kapeeng!><ka-chink!>

LMAO

Plink? No, that's when you go shooting. Which isn't so bad an idea, to go out and search out some spammers.

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