OT: Visit to grief support group

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Thanks for sharing, Don.

I'd like to read your journal. You have a great talent for words on paper.

Hang in there.

Karl

"Don Foreman" wrote>

Don, that is one of the good things about this newsgroup. Each person takes what they want and leaves the rest. I took a lot of what you wrote and stored it as future reference. I took a lot at just face value and enjoyed reading it. One can post the exact answer to a question here, or just plain good advice, and it is up to the reader to do what they will.

Do not ever question the value of the great stuff you have contributed here, both in personal stories, travel, and dare I say it ........ metalworking.

Glad to hear you are moving along, not to forget, but just to live life, as Mary would have urged you to do yourself. You will see her again, at least by my belief system, but that's another story and a personal choice.

Steve

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Yah, what if we all showed up at the same time to "help" ? heh heh .... ;>)}

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Perhaps we _should_ show up and 'help' Don, eih? ;>)} Bet we'd all have a good time!

=A0That's the business about redefining myself and my life.

I have had a couple of thought about how you might redefine your life. None of which will redefine the part of your life with Mary.

Are there any museums in your area? I would not be much use as a candy striper, but I do volunteer at a local museum along with a couple of other volunteers. We are restoring some machinery that is about 150 years old. Some of the work is just getting the rust off and painting. Other stuff is making new shafts and restoring teeth on gears. We only meet twice a month so it is not much as far as redefining my life, but you might consider something like that.

You might also consider starting a small business. Maybe something like making a superior bicycle head light. Or a simple device that will translate ultrasonic sound to audible sound for pinpointing leaks in air conditioners or auto tires.

Or you might let people know that you are willing to fix things around the house for a reasonable price. Lots of things that are simple to you like replacing washers in faucets, but not simple to women whose husband used to fix all those thing.

Dan

Megadittoes on what Steve said, Don. I think you have a handle on it.

Please consider writing books (perhaps _Foreman's Machinist's Bedside Readers_) as a hobby...if it suits you.

-- To know the road ahead, ask those coming back. -- Chinese Proverb

You have read it. It's just a compendium of posts I sent to RCM.

That's a good suggestion, Dan. I'd rather do it gratis if possible. That can spook good people and attract predators, but that'd be my preference. I wouldn't want to intefere with those who make their living with such activity.

One woman in the support group piqued my interest. Four months bereft after fifty some years with her hub. Probably mid-70's, older than I, quick as a minnit. She said at one point that she was a cardiologist. She has not cooked a meal for herself in four months. She gets by on sandwiches. I would purely enjoy cooking a meal for us with no romantic intentions ore expectations at all, just a companionable meal. It could be at my place or hers.

Likelihood of that happening is about zip because wounded people scare easy, but I intend to extend an offer. I think we bereaved should sieze any and every opportunity for contact and association with others, filter as necessary.

A nice meal, conversation, sharing of experience as fellow travellers (or not), what's to fear?

We'll see. I wouldn't bet anything precious that my invitation might be accepted. My intent would be a simple offer of a companionable dinner for two that I'd prepare with no expectations beyond that. It's as easy to cook for two as for one and more fun to do.

I widower fella I know picks a bucket of fresh strawberries for every widow in his small town. I told him once he was being awful generous. He said, no almost every bucket ends up getting more than one home cooked meal.

Karl

I suggested low cost so you would not be overwhelmed and that would also let people not feel too obligated. You could let the pay be a home cooked meal.

My guess is you would be more likely to be successful if you invited the woman who is subsisting on sandwiches to share a meal at a restaurant. At least for the first meal.

=20 Dan

And I am reminded too, in her casket the only time I saw her, wondered where is the men's room in that place? Nobody around, so when I had to pee on Mary's face, and, and, then her eye popped open!!! OMG!!!

Take something you've cooked to the next meeting and offer it to her. Tell her you were getting tired of sandwiches and decided it was time to cook a few meals, and you thought she might enjoy the home cooked food. :)