Jerry's standard responses / form letter

COmpliments of Balsa Boy

Jerry, here's a form letter you can use from now on, it should make
your job
a lot easier:

Category A; denials/excuses:

[ ] The T-Shirt thing was not my fault. Everything you hear to the
contrary is just lies.

[ ] The bounced check thing was not my fault. Everything you hear to
the contrary is just lies.

[ ] The crap you heard about me from (insert customer/vendor name
here) is just lies.

[ ] This just confirms everything about TRA and NAR that I have ever

[ ] This just PROVES that _________ is out to get me.

[ ] What I need is ONE impeccable dealer to simply carry some of my
actual products.

[ ] I don't own US Rockets any more.

[ ] US Rockets is still my company.

Category B; ego-centricity:

[ ] __________ may have been well-loved by you, but now that he's
dead, I
really must tell you what an ignorant asshole he was, because he
on me and didn't like me one bit. By the way, he drank a lot and
therefore responsible for his own death.

[ ] (Circle One:) Mark / George / Phil / Chris / Other:____________
so blinded by their hatred of me, they fail to see the obvious -
that I
am always right.

[ ] You changed the subject, you're illogical, and you're stupid too.

[ ] You know, if you folks would have simply done things MY WAY, you
never have any of these problems.

[ ] I told you so... neener neener.

[ ] Gosh, I never have any of these problems at MY launches.

[ ] TRA and NAR hate rocketry. TRA and NAR hate YOU.
But Jerry *loves* you. Who's your daddy? Oh, yeah.

Category C; bizarro-logic:

[ ] I shipped APCP motors without a permit, ask me how!

[ ] But APCP motors really ARE safer to ship than water! You see,
water is
H2O, two molecules of fuel with one molecule of oxidizer. By
REASONING this should be controlled even more tightly than APCP.

[ ] If NAR and TRA would simply follow the law (as I interpret it)
could ship motors anytime they wanted, store them wherever they
and there would be a plethora of motors available from hundreds

Category D; ingratiating sycophanty and miscellaneous commentary:

[ ] Welcome to RMR, this is the sort of uncivilized behavior you
expect here (except from me, I really am above that sort of

[ ] __________, you really rock! You da man!

[ ] Allow ME to welcome you to high-powered rocketry, which I

[ ] This should be in the FAQ

Category E; Rambling, Incoherent, abusive diatribes filled with
and megalomaniacal drivel:

Reply to
Phil Stein
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