8 years ago
by way of introduction. Overall, the picture is dismal.
*What is right about preppers?*
*A prepper loves his family*. No matter what is wrong or what is right
about a prepper's actions, his or her motivation is pure: to protect
*A prepper is resourceful*. Survival depends on developing clever
solutions and alternatives, and preppers are quite ingenious in making
the most out of whatever they've got on hand.
*A prepper is prepped*. Despite being unnecessarily prepared for
imaginary scenarios that won't happen, a prepper is excessively prepared
for /likely/ scenarios like fires, blackouts, or storms.
*What is wrong with preppers?*
*A prepper is ignorant*. Woefully ignorant of science. And economics.
And facts. And reality. A prepper's justification for their
activities is some kind of catastrophe: meteor impact, crop failure,
fuel shortage, nuclear meltdown, biblical apocalypse, financial
collapse, WW3, natural disaster, or supernatural phenomenon. To anybody
with a grade 7 education, this sits somewhere between "improbable" and
"impossible". But due to a prepper's inability or unwillingness to
participate in reality, their fears become very real and imminent.
* *A prepper is a murderous sociopath*. A recurring theme among
preppers is being prepared to kill anybody who represents a real or
perceived threat to their post-apocalyptic paradise. Now don't get me
wrong, we have a duty and a right to defend ourselves and our families
from harm. To a moral and responsible adult, the act of taking another
person's life is a difficult, serious, and unfortunate incident. But a
prepper seems to relish the opportunity to terminate any hapless
stranger or acquaintance who wanders past their crosshairs. The fact
that many preppers hoard more bullets than beans betrays their desire to
designate fellow man as targets in their personal shooting gallery.
* *A prepper is compensating for failure*. Having failed to live up to
society's expectations or to self-imposed metrics, the prepper lives in
an alternate fantasy world with different goals and
success criteria than conventional society. Imagine a child who is
terrible at baseball suddenly inventing a game called "flumpball" in
which he is the best. This is the prepper's delusion too. /Unemployed
and poor/ transforms into /full-time prep organizer/, and /Neglecting
your children/ becomes /securing your children's future./
* *A prepper is arrogant*. In the aforementioned fantasy flumpball
world, the prepper invariably declares himself grand infallible
flumpball champion for life. In preparation and realization of their
fateful futures, they demand more status and respect than real society
would ever have offered them. They are the petulant alpha male whose
decree must never be challenged, and the emperor whose invisible clothes
must never be questioned.
* *A prepper is paranoid*. In addition to /"I must be prepared to kill
everybody before they can kill me"/, a prepper's paranoia causes them to
veil their preparation activities in secrecy. They imagine that someone
would envy their laughable ambitions enough to mimic or sabotage them.
* *A prepper is delusional and insane*. Perhaps sustained substance
abuse or head trauma is responsible for their broken perspective on
reality. Or perhaps a mild case of ADHD, OCD, or autism. But most
likely, they suffer from an actual mental illness. It's a pity that
this is so difficult to identify and treat.
* *A prepper is a terrible parent*. We only get one childhood. We only
get one /life/, but childhood is the first, most important, and most
precious part of our lives. And a prepper robs their own children of
proper, normal lives by neglecting them while carrying out delusional
plans or by recruiting them into participating in those plans. A child
should visit Disneyland on spring break, not help dig an underground
doomsday fortress. A child should play XBox on a rainy day, not learn
how to manufacture the ammo he'll need to shoot neighbors
and ne'er-do-wells with. Most prepper families should be Child
Protective Services cases.
* *A prepper is inferior genetic material*. Another common theme among
preppers is the desire to survive a near-extinction event and personally
sire humanity's future generations. The prospect of a new society
seeded by idiot nutjob preppers makes me pray that this mythical
catastrophe is a /total/ extinction event. If these preppers want to do
humanity a favor, empty out the jars of pickled eggs and fill them with
Nobel Laureate semen instead.
* *A prepper is due for disappointment*. After waiting an entire
lifetime for the catastrophe that would have justified their existence,
they pass away on their death beds having wasted the only life that we
are granted. If they haven't totally ostracized their friends and
family yet, perhaps the prepper takes slight comfort in seeing them safe
from imaginary disaster.
I'm prepared to admit that /Doomsday Preppers/ makes me ashamed to share
this earth with people who would squander their precious lives. It
makes me afraid that normal-seeming neighbors could be sociopathic
maniacs. It makes me pity these faulty, broken people who don't want
help and who probably won't get help that they desperately need.