How to sour milk

My helper got a job. At the job, they have a communal fridge. There's one guy who will come in and help himself to most anything there, but likes milk. They want to get him. Other than letting the milk set out for a day or two, what's the fast track to come up with some reeeealy skanky tasting sour milk? I hope he gets this for youtube.

Steve

Reply to
Steve B
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Well the easy way is to add a bit of acid to the milk. Either good white vinegar or REAL lemon juice work well. 1 teaspoon per cup will curdle it in 20 minutes or so.

Reply to
Steve W.

just mix in a packet of mustard and shake.

Reply to
Cydrome Leader

Ex-lax in milk, capsaicin in a sandwich. Art

Reply to
Artemus

All of the following assume the guy drinks straight from the carton. None of them are likely to work if he pours it into a glass first, because the adulterations will be apparent.

Plan A: Dump anything strongly acidic (but edible) into it. Lemon juice or vinegar will do nicely.

Plan B: buy a quart of milk, and a quart of buttermilk. Drink the milk, then refill the milk carton with buttermilk. (Obviously won't work if the guy likes buttermilk.)

Plan C: Plan B, but instead of buttermilk, use milk that you have allowed to go sour in your fridge at home.

Plan D: Plan C using goat's milk. *Fresh* goat's milk is almost indistinguishable from fresh cow's milk, but old, sour goat's milk has a special flavor and aroma all its own, *much* worse than old, sour cow's milk.

Plan E: add anything edible that has a disgusting texture, such as grits, cottage cheese, tapioca pudding, or tofu. Tofu has the added advantage of disgusting taste as well. (Just imagine drinking milk from the carton, and getting a mouthful of grits at the end. Yeccch.) Avocados and mangos (the tropical fruit, not the pepper) are slimy; those might do, as well.

Reply to
Doug Miller

Has it occurred to you or any of your cow-orkers to simply not put your personal stuff into a communal fridge with a big "Help Yourself" sign?

Good Luck! Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise

I thought you said "edible." Please make up your mind. ;-)

Good Luck! Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise

No offense intended to y'all in the south but the slime you get when you boil a bunch of okra is just totally revolting to anybody who didn't grow up eating gumbos.

Dunno how well it might mix with milk or how it might look after it did so.

Reply to
Mike Spencer

That's snot very appetizing. d8-)

Reply to
Ed Huntress

Had a guy that liked to poke into other's lunchboxes where I useta work . Put a very inflammatory note inside my box one time because I KNEW he'd been in it - he was seen eating something that everyone knew I brought . Of course he couldn't say anything , because that would be an admission he was stealing from it . But he wouldn't speak to me or look me in the eye for several months after .

Reply to
Snag

Vinegar will curdle it, but won't give it that special "eww" factor that really rotten milk has.

Reply to
Tim Wescott

Screwing with food in a communal fridge is just going to start a nasty cycle of food adulteration. Has anybody told this guy to stop stealing milk?

Reply to
ATP

In THIS crowd?

Reply to
Richard

I grew up in Minnesota, and I'd rather a bowl of gumbo to a plate of fried eggplant or zucchini. (actually, my favorite Louisiana dish is red beans and rice.)

Then again, my Mom learned to cook on a wood (or maybe coal) stove, and became such an awesome cook that she could actually make Brussels sprouts edible.

Q: What's the difference between zucchini and snot?

A: You can eat snot.

Cheers! Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise

Sign on fridge

"I drink directly from certain bottles of milk in this fridge Please only drink from bottles of milk marked with your own name as mine may contain saliva contamination"

Watch out for the retaliation "so do I" handwritten on the sign.

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My helper got a job. At the job, they have a communal fridge. There's one guy who will come in and help himself to most anything there, but likes milk. They want to get him. Other than letting the milk set out for a day or two, what's the fast track to come up with some reeeealy skanky tasting sour milk? I hope he gets this for youtube.

Steve

Reply to
m II

I still cook on a wood stove.

I can do that!

Ah! You've had zucchini cooked using the Evil Stepmother Recipe for Broccoli.

Boil broccoli (or any not-fatally-toxic organic material) for an hour or as needed until pulpy.

Let cool to room temp.

Compel someone to eat it.

Blee!

You gots to harvest the zucchini when the diameter of a sturdy shovel handle, cut in 1/4" slices, dip in beaten egg and fry *briefly* in brown butter *only till the egg is barely cooked*. Salt, pepper, serve hot, immediately. Additions such as garlic, fresh basil, fresh dill or a few drops of Thai hot sauce or side order of vine-ripened tomatoes are allowed.

I don't think there's any comparable alternative for okra. Once every

20 years or so I buy some okra and try to overcome what might be a sad prejudice that I've outgrown.

Nope. It's just a plain, non-pre, judice.

And, WRT the OP, I don't think he's gonna turn milk in to a stealth deterrent with boiled zucchini as well as with gumbo.

Reply to
Mike Spencer

One place I worked, a guy took habanero peppers, and with latex gloves, put it all around the mouth of the jug the thief liked. The thief got two things. Blistered lips and an ass whooping. Don't know about the younger group here, but in the old days ......... guys took care of things in very short cycles.

Steve

Reply to
Steve B

I had a colleague who liked to walk by and take a swig of the Coke I'd often have on my desk. Filling it with thick very soapy water solved that problem.

I've a family member who works shifts with the emergency services. One of his colleagues had problems with someone on the opposite shift stealing forzen steaks from the freezer. He rubbed a steak in something nasty a dog left on the verge and then put it in the freezer. A guy on the opposite shift took a few days off with gastro.

Reply to
Dennis

Oooooh, good one! I forgot about okra.

Probably won't mix at all -- which, if you think about it, makes it even better.

Reply to
Doug Miller

My father's Alabama version was to fry fresh garden okra breaded in cornmeal, and it was delicious. He could grow it in Concord NH which I believe has a somewhat worse climate than you do, being just far enough inland from the Atlantic to not benefit from its moderating influence.

I never learned how to get it right with store-bought frozen okra.

jsw

Reply to
Jim Wilkins

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