In-house visit by a "Rainbow vacuum" salesperson

On of my part time jobs in college was rebuilding these puppies. THe guy would by up all of the old ones he could find, make the minor repairs they usually needed, ( more often than not a new impeller, due to pennies or other metal being sucked in) send the bodies out to be polished, and slap new plastic trim from Kirby on.

jk

Would that work with evangelists?

I'm thinking, Who's to say the hardwood floor thing wouldn't work with evanglists?

They offer me a brochure to read, and all I have to say is, "I'm sorry, I have hardwood floors." What will they use as a comeback for that?

If they look in or come in, I actually have tile and carpeting, but that just makes me out a liar. I wouldn't be a good member anyhow.

"Don't you have rugs on them?"

Nope, you have to show them the corpses of animals nailed to the walls etc instead.

If it's a prayer rug in front of the altar, well, that's a clue. Of course, you'd have to use a spiritual vacuum to clean those.

Probably not,....but having your girlfriend lay nude on the coffee table surrounded by candles and blank staring at the ceiling..visible from the front door..and wearing war paint and obviously trying to hide a dagger behind you as you answer the door..and asking them if they want to come in for the Sacrifice to Chluthu..generally puts them off their feed..... The Doors playing "This is the End" on the turntable with the bass cranked all the way up..was an additional kharma point....

You know..old ladies can really run pretty good if they want to.

Gunner

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I doubt it. I never had to say a thing. Just tell door-to-door types you're not interested while you are closing the door. Those of us who do go around on occasion looking for people who are interested in finding a church will appreciate it.

According to Ignoramus32056 :

Long ago and far away, the mother of a girl I knew asked me to sit in on a vacuum demonstration. Might have been Kirby. He did the usual stuff, which we thought pretty amusing.

Then her father got home, just as the salesman was getting to the "betcha this thing can pick up anything. Find something for me to show you" bit. Her father said "just a moment", went into the basement, and came back with a cylinder about

Just as the salesman was moving the hose towards the thing, he asked "oh, by the way, what is this?".

"Stick of dynamite" was the reply.

The salesman was out of the house within 15 seconds...

Put an ad in the yellow pages and leave us alone! Anybody who wants to find a church can easily find one without your help.

Rainbow built a vacuum that would pick up a bowling ball. The only problem was that it could also pull carpet off the tack strips. They had to recall all of them and convert them to their standard motor.

"What may I kill for your god.."

-- pyotr filipivich "Quemadmoeum gladuis neminem occidit, occidentis telum est. " Lucius Annaeus Seneca, circa 45 AD (A sword is never a killer, it is a tool in the killer's hands.)

Well, well, well, petrushka, you just have revealed as a litlle imaginative & creative little perv! What about developing it into a short story or making a number for utube? You're gifted, petia...

A lot of people appreciate door-to-door visits from local churches; otherwise the churches would have stopped making them long ago. It's an old-fashioned welcome-to-the-community thing. I suppose next you'll want to get rid of Girl Scout cookie selling.

That's "Quemadmodum gladius..."

Larry and a Cat named Dub wrote

Nar, MUCH better to nail previous evangelists and their children to the wall.

mc wrote

do go around on

church can easily

F*ck all do in fact.

Mindlessly silly, just like with any sort of sales fool.

Wrong, as always.

Nar, just fools like you.

...or "Who may I....

That incident actually happened about 1975-78is..the girl fiend was as deranged as I was (damn I miss her..she married a Congressman about her

We didnt get bothered by evangelists for years..they would come down the street..and cross to the other side..waving their bibles in our direction...

Gunner

Gunner

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