OSHA showed up at work the other day. Oh joy, oh joy, another reason to get the boss paranoid. After the grand tour and filling out reams of papers and causing the boss to look sadder than Droopy the cartoon dog, the bottom line was that we have to change out all the air lines (explosive hazard) and get trained on how to put on safety glasses and how to insert earplugs into our ears. In addition, we have to put up "exit" signs.
This brought up a few questions in my mind:
- If I don't know how to put my glasses on, how are they going to train me? They can't give me written instructions because I can't read (blind or visually impaired; take your pick) without glasses. They can't give me verbal instructions because I obviously don't know how to wear earplugs and after 12 years of working there I must be deaf (hearing impaired for the politically correct crowd) .
- How are they going to tell me how to put my earplugs in if I can't hear?
- What good are the EXIT signs if I can't read them because I don't know how to put my glasses on?
- How the hell have I been managing to get out of the building all these years without a sign to tell me.
- How about an ENTRANCE sign? If I don't know how to get out of the building without a sign then I sure as hell wouldn't know how to get in.
On a previous visit, OSHA was pleased with all the signs around the shop spaces telling the uninformed that they should wear eye protection. However (there are always "howevers" when it comes to beaurocrats) they thought we might be confused when it came time to measure a part in the comparator (which is surrounded by blackout curtains). So in their infinite wisdom, they decided that we needed a sign to tell us that eye protection was NOT needed when using the comparator. This brought up a quandary for the blind as a bat crowd like me who need glasses to see. Am I required to take my glasses off to use the comparator? Or is it optional?
My boss did not exhibit a sense of humor when I asked him these questions.
Those Minds
"Hi, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you"