Got a new TV. Just a plain vanilla televisionary set ... I thought.
Used to be ya bought a TV, plugged it in, hooked up the antenna or cable, turned it on and watched it -- at least until a tube burned out. Then ya took the tubes to the drugstore, tested them, found the bad one and bought a replacement for $1.59.
Not anymore! Ya get a "menu". The TV doesn't have knobs, just a remote with a bazillion cryptic buttons on it. Gotta read the directions. I finally figured out which button to press that didn't just get me a new menu of cryptic questions like "S-video or cappucino?" TV, goddamnit!
Would I rike Engrish, Spanish, Ebonese or Chinglish? What date and time is it -- or would I rather wait half an hour for it to figure it out for itself? (If it can tune a channel to determine the date and time, why the hell can't I watch a program awready?) Have I ever been convicted of a felony? If so, was it a sex crime? Just business? And so on....
All I wanna do is turn on the freakin' TV, select a channel and watch the SOB. It was once easier to buy a house. I'm almost afraid to buy a new toaster.
I do like the "mute" button, though it doesn't seem to work when pointed at my older-model wife.