This may be the last page in this saga and chronicle. I may have to think of something else to write about or just shut up for a while.
Today was my second solo day, meaning no houseguests, since Mary passed on 19 March over 3 weeks ago. I had evening meals and visits with friends and family both days, and will for at least the next couple of days.
Both solo days went better than I dared expect. There were still rough spots in the afternoons but they were less deep and of shorter duration than even a very few days ago. Maybe the acupuncture is helping or maybe I'm just finally getting my shit together. Whatever, I'll take it!
I went in for a routine quarterly "device check" of my ICD this afternoon. The nurse I always see for that greeted me, asked about Mary since Mary and I always accompanied each other to our various appointments. That blindsided me: I lost it, melted down -- but I got it back together in a few seconds. The rest of the afternoon was mostly OK. The knot in my stomach was a figure 8 thread terminator rather than a monkey fist line heaving knot. I think I now have a good start on my journey to happier days. There are already happy times, smiles and laughs, in my days. I intend to make daily encounters with friends or family a priority for the forseeable future and I now don't see that as being any problem to accomplish.
I have projects I want to get going on: small easy "get well" projects that I can accomplish fairly quickly, most for others. There's still estate stuff to sort out but my brain is starting to resemble oatmeal more than loonshit. Short-term memory is now slightly longer than a lightning bolt if I take careful notes.
Had dinner with son Dave tonight and then we plotted an electrical wiring project in his house and played with his cat guest who decided instantly that she liked me. Kids and animals tend to like me.
Tomorrow, dinner with good friends. Bob was a respected colleague and friend who also knew and worked with Mary, Jan 'n Mary were thick as sisters in recent years. I wouldn't be at all surprised if there wasn't some email or conversation about "I was quite upset with Foreman when he..."
Thank y'all for bearing with me, letting me know that y'all were reading the journal I found so cathartic to write. Support from this group has been very helpful to me.