Flying witticisms

Every once and awhile, someone will post a list of truisms about
flying. Invariably the list will include things similar to:
"tis better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than flying
and wishing you were on the ground"
"A good landing is one you walk away from"
"You can never have too much height"
Most oft heard last words, "Watch this"
etc etc etc
Does any one have this list they could post. I like it for a trike
pilot friend of mine in Atlanta.
thx
-Bill
Reply to
Bill Archibald
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Every once and awhile, someone will post a list of truisms about flying. Invariably the list will include things similar to:
"tis better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than flying and wishing you were on the ground"
"A good landing is one you walk away from"
"You can never have too much height"
Most oft heard last words, "Watch this"
etc etc etc
Does any one have this list they could post. I like it for a trike pilot friend of mine in Atlanta.
thx
-Bill
Reply to
Bill Archibald
You mean like, "If it takes full power to taxi up to the gate, next time put the gear down." ?
Or the real meaning of DFW (Dallas-Ft. Worth) : Land in Dallas, taxi to Ft. Worth.
If DR1 Driver can't find his list, I stashed a copy a year or so ago. Cheers, Fred McClellan the dash plumber at mindspring dot com
Reply to
Fred McClellan
Try this really great site for aviation quotes.
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Pat
Reply to
Pat Castle
When flying a low inverted pass, allow enough room for rotation. (Don't ask)
Alan Harriman
Reply to
Alan Harriman
Another one i like: "every plane has an expiration date on it... we just don't know what it is"....... . Arne, CT, USA =========================
Reply to
Arne Reil
This list turned up in rec.aviation.piloting today:
I hadn't seen many of these before.
Bob
_____________________________________________________
From an old carrier pilot:
Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and therefore, unsafe.
Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Never trade luck for skill.
The three most common famous last words in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh Shit"
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it.
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
Advice given to RAF pilots during W. W. II: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)
Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil, For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing. (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena, Japan).
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot)
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but obviously someone who's been there)
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi off the runway.
Reply to
Martin X. Moleski, SJ
Uh oh...now you've started something!
(From a Navy pilot) To an Air Force pilot, "close formation" is two aircraft flying the same heading on the same day.
(Found written on the wall of a portable toilet at a glider port in Fremont, CA) Pilots with short stacks or low manifold pressure: please taxi up close and hold; next pilot may not be equipped for water operations.
(Cartoon of two pilots approaching the middle of a runway, at 90 degrees to the centerline) "Wow--short runway; but look how WIDE it is!"
Common cause of aviation accidents: Running out of altitude, airspeed and ideas.
Joe Parsons
Reply to
Joe Parsons
A good landing is one in which you only have to bend over once to pick up your aircraft.
Explaining the lift vector: At 90 degrees of bank you are falling like a rock. Over 90 degrees and you get there BEFORE the rock. (courtesy of my CFI)
Reply to
D. Anderson
It is inside the airplane where you cannot see it ! ! !
David
Reply to
David AMA40795 / KC5UH
After having made a very nice landing , but , clear at the other end of the runway , I handed a friend my radio and trudged off grip"Grasshopper , is better to walk far and pick up airplane than to walk short distance and pick up pieces"
Ken Day
Reply to
K day
You can enjoy the free fruits of the wind, but ignore the laws and you pay. JJB
Alan Harriman wrote:
Reply to
jim breeeyar
I believe that those are actually the most common comments in the cockpit of an airbus
Reply to
Matthew Orme
"Where are we ? I'm the Naviguesser.. ( navigator) and I have a right know"
Ken Day
Reply to
K day
Flying aerobatics close to the ground is the same as 3 mistakes high, only you do it with a faster heartrate.
-- Philip Rawson
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Reply to
philip-rawson
"a woman's work is never done"
well then, the work shy idle bitch should get out of bed 2 hours earlier !
"philip-{the old ones are the oldest} rawson"
receipient of the jimmy tarbuck humour award
Reply to
lithops

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