26 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP...
1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as'dressed up,'.
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn
kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the
beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm
never going to drink that much again,".
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is
for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a
26. You read this entire list looking for one sign that
doesn't apply to you.
"Guns aren't toys. They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or
delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face."
-- Krusty the Clown, "The Simpsons"
18 years ago