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pickle jar

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.

Reply to
Cydrome Leader
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diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Reply to
spamTHISbrp

If glass, drop it on concrete. Don't worry about the glass shards. Those won't hurt you.

Wes

Reply to
Wes

See link for a commercially available jar opener:

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Patterson Please remove the spamtrap to email me. "I always wanted to be somebody...I should have been more specific..." - Lily Tomlin

Reply to
Mike Patterson

That's an HVLP (Has Vacuum, Lid Pops) system....

Reply to
Rick

Indeed

Gunner

Reply to
Gunner

I missed the Staff meeting, but the Memos showed that Cydrome Leader wrote on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:03 +0000 (UTC) in rec.crafts.metalworking :

Okay, you're going to need a tig welder, a 68 inch length of T-1203 Aluminum T extrusion (3/4" standing leg with a 38.75mm cap). And two diamond scribes. You'll also need a sack of Quickset concrete, a plastic wheelbarrow and one 800 count cotton sheet. Plus two blasting caps, a length of det cord and one procto-probe (you can reuse the one forgotten by the aliens after your abduction.)

Post when you have those items collected. I'm sure you have a lludium R-37 Explosive Space Modulator (not the Q-36, that's the wrong size for this.), so you'll need to have that charged up and ready to go.

toodles pyotr

Reply to
pyotr filipivich

Please, pyotr, don't encourage him to build this jar opening device - he's a troll. He'll only write back wanting all sorts of construction details. He'll probably even want to know what color to paint it, for crying out loud.

John Martin

Reply to
John Martin

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid with a pistol.

Reply to
Maxwell Lol

Or just swallow the jar, whole. He has enough acid in him to eat the lid off.

Reply to
Michael A. Terrell

Ok, I have all these items now. I got them at a government auction. They are all very high quality. I am very clever and when done with these items, I will paint and resell them.

Reply to
Cydrome Leader

Hehe. Two, maybe three birds with one stone. Make him non reproducable

Reply to
bob_1fs

What? You want to deprive his village of a replacement idiot? :(

Reply to
Michael A. Terrell

Have a fiend (if he has a friend) use a shotgun (if he has a shotgun).

-- pyotr filipivich "I had just been through hell and must have looked like death warmed over walking into the saloon, because when I asked the bartender whether they served zombies he said, ?Sure, what'll you have?'" from I Hear America Swinging by Peter DeVries

Reply to
pyotr filipivich

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