Bell codes " Jokes"

I found this lot on a web site it did give me a lift !! :o)))
Hope you like all the best Steve.
BELL JOKES or the improper use of the Block Instruments!

Front door bell 1 Rent collector A number of beats in rapid succession Dad coming through front door, or Mother-in-law getting off bus (see also 1-2-1) 2 Is Line Clear for:- The Queen's favourite to win the 2:30 at Doncaster 4-4-4 Dad's new car 4 The Mayor's new car 4-1-3 A double deck trolley bus 4-2 A single deck trolley bus 3-1-2 An empty trolley bus - double or single deck 2-2-1-2 Mum's car 3-1 Dad's garden wheelbarrow 1-3 A Lawnmower - diesel powered 3-1-3 A supermarket trolley - without squeaking wheels 1-3-1 An 18 wheeler Supermarket truck 3-2-5 Mum pushing an empty pram 2-2-1 A supermarket delivery truck with current MOT 3-1-1 A grocers delivery bicycle with front brake inoperative 5 Horse drawn baker's delivery cart with horse shod on only three hooves 1-2-2 Mum's car with brake deficiency 3-2 Oldest son's old (new) car just failed MOT 1-4 A milk float at end of days delivery (no longer used) 4-1 A milk float at start of days delivery 3 The Local Council tree-lopping vehicle 1-2 Dad stopping at Pub on way home from work 2-2-3 Double Decker Bus going under low bridge 2-1-2 A Bicycle (or Tandem if applicable) 2-3 A car towing a caravan or another car 1-1-3 Two people passing on a narrow stairway 2-6-1 Mother-in-law on the stairway 2-6-2 Grandmother on the stairway 2-6-3 Making sure Dad has clear run to bathroom after returning from Pub 1-2-6 Dad deciding he wants to go back to Pub re above 1-6-2 Other Bell Codes including Emergency Signals:- Mother pushing a Pram 2-2 Mother pushing Pram with toddler by her side 2-3-1 Going to the Pub 3-3-2 Not going to the Pub 8 Deciding not to go out on a cold night 3-2-3 Mother-in-law coming to visit 3-5-5 Mother-in-law offering to baby-sit during visit 3-3-5 Mother telling kids that Dad has had a bad day at the office or, Mother-in-law at bottom of road 1-2-1 Dad home from work 2-1-3 Dad too long down the Pub 6-2 Car out of Petrol, lost car keys or Dad incapable of returning home from Pub 3-3-4 Reversing car out of driveway or Dad walking home from Pub with difficulty 2-3-3 Wrong telephone number 5-3 Policeman calling in to check on car ownership after stopping you for broken rear light 9 Policeman shouting to colleague in car re above 4-5 Driving in wrong direction down a one-way street 2-5-5 Being chased by Police 4-5-5 Opening garage door 5-5-5 Closing garage door 7-5-5 Closing electrically operated Garage door 5-5-7 Dad losing temper at favourite football team own goal 16 Daughter moving her car from Dad's place in the driveway 1-5-5 Cat (or Dog) taking up space in front of the fireplace, or Mother-in-law in bathroom 6 Cat (or Dog) moved from in front of fireplace, or Mother-in-law out of bathroom 2-1 Bad eyesight 8-2 Closing the driveway gates, or Electric Token Block - Keys out from pocket 5-2 Replacing telephone in cradle 3-5 Checking water, battery and tyre pressures on car 7 Kids left behind at last motorway stop 5-5 Front door porch light out 2-8 The Speaking clock 8-5-5 Putting car in neighbours driveway 2-4 Parking car on street 3-3 Cheeky neighbour using your driveway to turn car, or Electric Token Block - Keys back in pocket 2-5 Dial 999 (actually correct useage!) 1-1-6 Telephone sales rep calling right at mealtime 1-1 Permissive Working - Daughter can stay out late now Dad's away on a business trip 2-4-2 Permissive Working - Daughter can have boyfriend over or go as far as front gate but cannot go out dancing 4-3
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