How do I get the wife out of the house tommorow morning?

In news:426fd263 snipped-for-privacy@mk-nntp-2.news.uk.tiscali.com, Tomas pecked: Tell her there is a HUGE unannounced sale down at Marks and Spencer.

Give her a bit of money and tell her to go shopping........

Get her a gift certificate to her favorite store and tell her to go shopping for Spring :-)
Cheers -- \_________Lyman Slack________/ \_______Flying Gators R/C___/ \_____AMA 6430 LM____ / \___Gainesville FL_____/ Visit my Web Site at

Tell her you've turned gay and want a divorce, -or- Tell her, "Yes, your arse *does* look big in that"

Ted shuffled out of his cave and grunted these great (and sometimes not so great) words of knowledge:
He wants to get her out of the house, not commit suicide. {:-)

Ah! this time it is up to you. next time ship it to work! there you ca
get it and she won't know! good luck getting inside though
-- Keith4322 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Keith43221's Profile: this thread:

David
PS Of course assuming you enjoy celibacy

You could always tell her it only cost $12, and then when she accuses you of trickery, you shamefully admit that it really cost $25 and beg forgiveness/
David
PS Only a real coward would have had it sent to a mates place, and have him give it to you as a 'gift'
Tomas wrote:

You need a different wife!

Don't be a damn Wimp.!!
Just get the stuff delivered and if she complains don't give her any sex for a month.
regards
Tom Watson Sydney Australia

Tell her to go out and spoil herself and buy a new dress or some shoes.....

Why do you think he took up flying?

Get her a hobby like doll collecting (my wife's). "But honey, you spent $200 on Baby Boobles last month, so why are you so upset over my little model airplane purchase?" Guilt works wonders! :-)
Morris

This takes a little finesse , but make up a shipping label the night before with a friends name and address on it....better if YOUR wife doesn't know your FRIENDS wife. Now , when you see the brown truck pull up , announce loudly , " Honey , did you order something "....then walk out to meet the driver while the wife looks on. After a short conversation with the driver about the weather or whatever and as the driver walks away , slap the label on , carry it to the house and tell your wife your friend wasn't home and you'll drop if off to him later. When she gives you that look , juist show her the label. Should work.
Ahem...I never have to do anything like this myself.
Ken Day

Surely it's a back order just arrived from Japan

Hi
The shrewdest move (unknown at the time) I ever made was to sell all my RC gear and planes - seriously!!!!
Many years ago, when my wife and I were young and decided to get engaged, I was impoverished (probably because all my wages went on model planes and drink). I couldn't afford to buy an engagement ring so in a fit of madness sold all my RC gear and planes to raise the money to buy a decent ring. In my defence I will just say that lust does funny things to a bloke!!!!
After a few months of married life when the rose tinted glasses had become a shade opaque, I tentatively suggested that perhaps I could buy some RC gear and a kit "not very expensive - honestly Dear; just a small one". She replied that she understood the sacrifice I had made in giving up my hobby for her and had vowed to herself at the time that she would never begrudge me spending anything on RC planes if I ever decided to take up the hobby again. Actually she didn't object even when I got carried away and suggested opening a model store, which at least got me all my personal gear at trade prices - and my own planes being officially classed as "shop demonstration models" could also be offset against tax.
The model store has long gone, but to this day she sticks to her "vow" - Not that I ever take advantage of it of course. 8^)
Regards
KGB

Back in 1979 my wife laid down the law and said either the RC obsession went or she went. We would have been married 17 years that September 9.
Charlie

Tell her it's for a friend who does not want his wife to know about it.
It does, of course, have to be a friend whose wife and your wife don't know each other.

Yea! That'll show her!