| Don't listen to that ARF advice. Build a kit and learn something about | aerodynamics and the hobby in the process.
Building a kit will not necessarily teach you anything about aerodynamics -- you're just following directions, and the instructions generally don't talk about aerodynamics much.
It will help teach you how to repair your plane, however. That's certainly good to know.
However, if you're doing this with no help and no experience, it's very likely that you'll make a plane that doesn't fly or flies poorly. With an ARF, the odds of getting a plane that will actually fly are a good deal higher.
Also, consider this -- if it's a built-up balsa plane, and you fly it by yourself with no experience and no help, it's expected lifetime is likely to be measured in seconds. So which would you rather destroy
-- the plane you spent 40 hours on, or the plane you spent 4 hours on?
I suggest an ARF for somebody starting out. Once you get the hang of that, you can try building if you want.
| The next step is to find a qualified RC instructor. It saves time | and money and is the only proper way to learn.
If it's a built up plane, yes. A simulator will certainly help, but you'll want some help for the first few flights, or they're likely to be very short and will end in the destruction of the plane.
If it's a foamie, then it'll probably survive some crashes, and might survive your `learning on your own' process.
Either way, some experienced help, at least a first, can go a long way towards reducing your frustration.