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REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

That's mates for you across the 'Ditch' - DN

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA In light of your failure to make the correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 13Th November 2004.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she doesn't much fancy. Your new Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair M.P., for the 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world, will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated in twelve months time to determine if any of you noticed.

To aid your transition into a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. All citizens are to look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. While there, check the pronunciation guide for "aluminium"

- this may be surprising for you. Generally attempt to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same

27 words interspersed with "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
  1. There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
  2. Learn to distinguish British, South African and Australian accents.Its not difficult.
  3. Hollywood will henceforth be required to occasionally cast Englishmen as good guys.
  4. Re-learn your original anthem, "God Save the Queen". Please ensure that you have complied with the first law before attempting this.
  5. Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of "football". What you refer to "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you aware of a world outside of your borders may have noticed that no one else plays it. Play proper football instead; to start with get the girls to help you -it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, eventually, be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies.
  6. Declare war on Quebec and France, using g nukes if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world should count yourselves lucky - the Russians have never really been bad guys. p.s. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
  7. 4th July is no longer a public holiday. 2nd November will be the new national holiday.
  8. American cars are hereby banned. They are crap; its for your own good. When we show you German cars you'll understand.
  9. Please tell us who killed JFK. Its been driving us crazy.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

-- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.296 / Virus Database: 265.5.0 - Release Date: 9/12/2004

Reply to
nignog1
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Bah! if we wanted your advice, I think we would have written "Queen Elizabeth II" in the write in section

you seem to have the belief that you are right and the rest of the planet is wrong. thats fine, we believe the same thing about "football" "lift" "boot" and other such words. please remember that British or "queens english" were not the first language on the planet.

hmmmmmmm. yeah, as soon as you let the rest of the world know the difference between coffe and tea

Neither is distinguishing urban, redneck, southern, or yooper.

you mean like james bond?

save her from what? what has she done for the lowest of the british, the demand taxes just to watch TV

see above

Hmm, might be easier to finish what we started with you guys over there on the other side of the little pond

like we dont have enough holidays in that 3 month period.

when I see a glut of german cars at affordable prices, I consider it. especially since most american cars are made in mexico or japan.

I'll tell you tomorow

Note: I'll reconsider the above if you can put a hotel on the moon, cure cancer, stop AIDs or give every person on the planet a home and a million dollars. till then God BLESS the U.S.A.

Reply to
tater schuld

Come on, don't make us have to beat you up again

Alan Harriman

Reply to
Alan Harriman

Alan- No need for that. He at least had the good sense to say we ought to have German cars, not British. Didja hear the Brits failed in their attempts to get into the computer market because they couldn't figure out how to make them leak oil?

Abel

Reply to
Abel Pranger

snipped-for-privacy@iprimus.com.au wrote: ...

is similar to

At least you got one thing right.

And, there is only one 'i' in aluminum.

Reply to
Steve

And all this time I thought is was because they were being built by the Prince of Darkness - - Lucas

Reply to
Six_O'Clock_High

No there isn't.

Reply to
The Natural Philosopher

I thought it was the Lucas Electrics! You press a key on the KB and you never know what the result would be. But most the time the 'P' would turn on the headlights and the 'D' the wipers!

Reply to
C.O.Jones

We've been good friends with a Welshman for four years now, and we've become "Welsh" by default. The Welsh will tell you that "Queenie" is NOT their queen, and the TRUE Prince of Wales isn't Charlie or his horsie, Camilla. The TRUE Prince of Wales is Tom Jones! Don't make us Celts come and beat up you English gits again! :-) Remember what happened the last two times...

God Bless the U.S.A., and Wales Forever!

Reply to
Morris Lee

Can't do. You guy's drive on the wrong side of the road. And who ever heard of good English beer?

Reply to
Andrew

Where do you think all those old Commodores went?

-- Paul McIntosh

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"Six_O'Clock_High" >>>

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

That is because it was discovered by an American and the Brits tried to lay claim to it like every other invention.

which is similar to

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

Yes, there is.

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

The only good beer in England is imported...from Scotland!

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

Ok, so the first commercially useable extraction process came from an American and a Frenchie. It was first purely extracted by a Dane.

Ao all you brits get off you donkey because you had nothing to do with it.

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

Wrong!!!!! Whisky from Scotland, single malt preferred. Good beer or ale is from England not the mass produced stuff although some of that it is acceptable.Of which the USA can't produce either!

Reply to
Johny H

"Johny H" wrote in message news:cpnadl$gua$ snipped-for-privacy@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...

Bwhahahahahahahahaha! Come try some "Moose Drool" young man. Better than "Samuel Smith" Brown ale...not that it's hard to beat. ;^) Or would you prefer some Pike Place "Kilt Lifter" another fine ale.

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Reply to
Keith Schiffner

Best beer I had in the UK was from a small brewer in Inverness, Scotland. Most of the English beer tasts like dirty water to me. I prefer Bavarian beers.

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

I would but your link doesn't work. Much like most of English trades!

Reply to
Paul McIntosh

Mea Culpa!

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Yah mean ol' top poster. ;^)

Reply to
Keith Schiffner

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