Re: The end of a dream

>Even if *she* won't go with you, see a marriage counslor.

> >She should have a physical, if the 'announcement' seemed to come out of the > >blue. > > I had plenty of warning. Just thought she was blowing smoke. I was wrong. > > > Jay > former model railroader >

Do you have any desire to finish your degree? If so, email me and I will help....

Jim Stewart. PhD Dept of Technology Northern Illinois University DeKalb Ill

Reply to
Jim Stewart
Loading thread data ...

What a load of crap. You don't know what the answer to someone's prayers are, and stop pretending you do, or if you want to pretend that, keep it to yourself. If you think you know enough to tell someone the answer to their prayers is "no for now", you're an idiot.

God doesn't work in ways you or I understand. Bad things happen to Christians just like everyone else. It would be better to suggest how someone might find comfort through their faith instead of laying on some kind of a guilt trip. One thing I'm pretty sure of is that God doesn't approve of *that*.

***********

Jay, Having been through an IT unemployment myself, I can certainly understand how it stresses your relationship with your family. My inlaws bailed us out on the mortgage and my wife went back to work fulltime. We're doing find now, but it was certainly the end of the IT fairy tale for me. I work in a startup now and we are struggling- believe it or not, we have to show a profit! I think we may have turned the corner, and in retrospect I am probably in a more substantial situation now than I was before I was laid off, but who knows?

One thing you might consider looking into is volunteer work, if you have not already. If you can find something that's important to you, you might be able keep busy in a way that will help your self-image and maybe your resume and networking if not your actual bank account.

I have to say that I am somewhat perplexed by the response of your wife. She is either being extremely unsupportive of you in a very difficult time, or she has some legitimate issues. Depression can certainly be debilitating; perhaps you are depressed in a way that is making coping more difficult, and maybe she is responding negatively to that. I don't know. But if taking a few prozacs helps temporarily, then you may have an issue. You might want to talk to a doctor. Try getting some significant exercise- an hour a day or more- it'll help you sleep, help your mental function, and maybe them endorphins will ease your stress some.

One activity that I found helpful was sending out resumes. You can get on Monster and others and keep sending them out. If your search doesn't turn up enough, broaden your geographical base. Keep a tally of how many you send out on a daily basis. It will serve as a reality check for both you and your wife about whether you are actively searching or not: if you are not sending out resumes on a daily basis, you are not trying hard enough. This is the thing: you've probably sent out hundreds already, and it seems hopeless, because the fact is that the odds are hugely against you for any given resume. The only way to overcome these odds is to keep at it. Also, you need to give each resume your best effort, which is hard because it feels like it's a waste of time. But the fact is that the 2000th resume has just about as much chance as the first, so take each one seriously. You might also want to consider getting your wife involved in your job search by asking her advice in editing cover letters (or whatever). It might help her to see your own engagement, and also help her to see that it's not a piece of cake finding the next job.

Hope this helps some.

JP

Reply to
JP

Agreed JP, lareyman seems to be one of those "I will believe no matter what!" kind of guys. Also, I believe GOD would want us to help Jay and give him hope, rather than say "Sorry, not now, I am busy." I really don't think GOD works like that. I also believe that if lareyman believs he does, lareyman will be in for a surprise when it is his turn to face his maker.

Jay, don't dispare buddy, time to take a long look at what is important to YOU, and what YOU want out of life. THEN ask HOW I can get what I want.

Reply to
wannandcan

I am reminded of a comment by George Carlin. "The universe is so big and the earth is so small, how do we know GOd is "in charge", he is probably like a mid-west marketing manager."

Reply to
wannandcan

Jay... so sorry to hear about the kick in the ass that life has decided to lay on you. But as bad as it may seem or feel - try to keep in mind that there are others who are even worse off than you are - as hard as that may be for you to believe right now.

You are depressed - BUT - at least you know WHY you are depressed. And it will get better at some point down the road - I can promise you this. (been there done that)

I am depressed - it's my 4th relapse in almost seven years. During two of these relapes I attempted suicide, and came this close to succeeding the last time. Once again suicidal thoughts occupy my thoughts on most days. But I don't want to die. I have a good wife who loves me - and I love her. We COULD be doing a bit better financially if not for my illness, but we're satisfied with what we have.

My point is - at least you CAN work, if the right job presents itself

- and it will. In my case, I am so incapacitated by this illness, it has been determined about 2 months ago that I am unable to work for the forseeable future. Concentration is non-existent, anxiety is so severe that it leaves me in the fetal position on the floor, crying like a baby at least 2 to 3 times a week. I have been under a doctor's care for the duration of this illness - and am required to take 18 pills per day between the time I get up in the morning and the time I go to bed at night. Even with the meds, I have a good night if I manage to get 3 hours sleep.

So you see, Jay - as bad as you think you are right now, when you compare your situation to someone else's - you're fortunate in the fact that at least you're able to function when you have to.

I'm just pointing this out to you as a "positive thought" for you to think of during times when it hurts so much, you don't think you're able to stand it any more.

Hang in there kid - and just keep remembering this - it WILL get better.

Take care, Bobby

snipped-for-privacy@aol.comjkelm (JCunington) wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@mb-m13.aol.com:

Mike),

Reply to
Bobby

George Carlin also wrote:".... We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less."

Reply to
Gene

information, to

Actually, George Carlin did not write the ''We've conquered the atom... etc.'' Go to his website and read what he has to say about that and other things that are attributed to him on the net. Carlin's website is very cool.

Also, Carlin DID say, ''Some people see the glass as half empty. Others see the glass as half full. I see the glass as too big.''

Songwriter Roy Zimmerman (no, not Bob Dylan) has a song about ''What if god is just like a big Golden Retriever, lazing around the house?'' or ''What if there are a whole bunch of Gods, and our God is the slowest one in the class?''

Reply to
Barney Rubble

PolyTech Forum website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.