Creatively destroying tampons

Soak tampon in liquid oxygen.

Ignite tampon with a LONG fuse.

I'm thinking it would make your ears ring, but since I've not done it, I don't know for sure.

Dave

It's not much help but....

A man is driving home from work when he sees a car on the side of the road, on its roof, and flames all around. He stops his car and walks over to the wreck. Inside is a beautiful woman in the car who's bleeding to death, so he rushes her to the hospital.

Six months she lies in the hospital, and he is with her every day and every night. He donated blood regularly to keep her alive. Eventually, she recovers fully, and they get married. Life is good for a few years, until one day she gets fed up and decides to leave him. He only loves money, and she knows she is just a trophy wife. She comes down the stairs, struggling with her two suitcases, reaching into her pocket for the keys to the Jaguar, "I'm leaving you," she says. "Oh really, and how are you going to leave? The keys in your hand are for the Jaguar I paid for. It's my car. You are not taking it anywhere." "Fine," she says, and throws the keys at him. "And those bulging suitcases? The clothes you are wearing? Everything I've paid for. They are my suitcases and my clothes. You're not taking them anywhere." "Fine," she says, throws the suitcases at him, strips off her clothes and throws them at him, too. "And the blood in your body? I sat with you for six months in the hospital. You know half of the blood is mine. You're not going anywhere." She quickly pulled out her tampon, threw it in his face and said........"I'll pay you back in monthly installments."

HeeHee, yup!

My first reaction, after being a married man myself for 25 odd years is to offer congratulations to you for dealing with womanly emotions thus far.. . Ladies do and think strange things, as we men do, so humor her on this. If she wants to be mellow, and not have flaming "manhole covers" lighting up the sky, then I'd suggest :

A marshallow roast...but, is it a tampon, or not? (string a lot of little marshies for visual effect here)

Halloween "Green Man" entity. Dress casually in nomex. *Wire* a "tampin" to string/monofilament, soak in a flammable, light it and whirl. Get the assembled opposite gender to clap upon each revolution. Pour more wine for the ladies. Collect tossed underwear for shop rags.

Above all, my thoughts to your Lady and You during surgery...

~D

"David A. Webb" wrote: Soak tampon in liquid oxygen. Ignite tampon with a LONG fuse.(CLIP) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I think the thing will ignite spontaneously on contact with liquid oxygen. Shell Chemical makes ammonia by reacting nitrogen from the air with hydrogen, and in the process, they wind up with liquid oxygen, which they evaporate into the atmosphere. People used to throw combustible trash into the pool just to see it flare up. Shell had to put a cover on their evaporation pond.

I'll bet if you made a muzzle loader for the tampons, you could fire it by injecting liquid oxygen into the breach.

I wish I could be there, but I suggest you find an area with no dry grass, weeds, or buildings, to do it. My best to your wife.

This reminds me of the old bra-burning days with a twist.

If I recall 30 years ago, the National Lampoon parody of "Our Bodies Ourselves" [a feminist handbook with female health sections] had a diagram of a tampon with the two main parts identified as the "rip chord" and the "payload".

-- The question we are all wondering is...

Do the pads with wings fly farther? (c;

A potato cannon sounds like a bit much, but lighting off the night by throwing a lit one at a gas-soaked (well, kerosene soaked) pile of wood should go well.

Tim

P.S. Don't waste a good bonfire, bring some scrap aluminum and a crucible! :^)

Soak them inlighter fluid and shoot them from the hair-spray gun.

We used to shoot flaming balls of masking tape across the trent canal using a "goose gun" made of pop cans duct taped together and loaded with a shot of Ronson lighter fluid.

Just make sure the flaming things don't land on the neighbor's roof. Like that flaming tennis ball that I sho, er, saw someone else shoot from a tennis ball cannon. ERS

That's the beaty of a low powered canon and a wide canal. Actually, I think it is the Severn river at that point (Beaverton Ontario)

snipped-for-privacy@snyder.on.ca wrote: That's the beaty of a low powered canon and a wide canal. (clip) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Let's keep it clean, shall we? :-)

"Short String" all of them and give them to females that you don't like. Just leave about an inch of string so that they don't think you are a mean spirited republican. Where do you think the term "cotton picker" came from?

Ivan Vegvary, a republican

Still got one out in the shed, made from "Canadian" cans. Last time it was used, second son got a warning not to use it in the city again (twenty years ago) Gerry :-)} London, Canada

A few Thoughts..

#1

Attach longer string to said sanitary implement. Soak in Kerosene, Alcohol, other flammable stuff. Get a long exposure camera on a tri- pod. Light said sanitary implement, start whirling the flaming thing around while in view of the long exposure camera (preferably at night)..

#2 Battery drill, attached to wood disk (10" diameter?) staple said strings to edge of wood disk. Again soak in flammable stuff, ignite, and "spin her up". The long exposure camera could be fun here too..

#3 Super glue the strings to the interior head liner of your boss / Evil friend's Porsche / SUV / Low rider..

#4 Tie a bunch of them together to create one of those "Hippy" style door way 'Things"

#5 Unravel said device and spin a thread out of them, then knit a nice sweater / afghan for your Aunt / Grandma.....

#6 Super glue them to the bottom of all the office chairs / Tables in evil friend's cubicle / conference room...

#7 Soak them in Fragrant oils, and hang them around the house and air freshness....

#8 Use them to clean / oil end mill / Drill bits...

#9 Run them through a paper shredder and throw the remains around as "Confetti"

#10 Sell them on E-bay, heck, you might make a fortune :0 (label them as 'collectibles; :0

Take Care, James Lerch

Press on: nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge

#11. Add a longer tail with a nail as a weight and they make decent

#12 Used as a plug for gunshot wounds. (with the plastic applicator) ( maxi pads are best for battle dressing and work Great on sucking chest wounds)

Gunner

"This phenomena occurs in many voting precincts, especially near Chicago. Democrat voters are so loyal in some areas that they continue to vote for decades after their deaths. Since most of these deceased Democrats surely vote from Hell, this leads one to wonder about the accommodations made between the Democrat National Party and The Devil. Perhaps this is best reflected in the hook nosed, pointy eared, Herman Munster looking candidate the Democrats choose to run for President this year." Strider

snipped-for-privacy@snyder.on.ca wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

snip

Could someone tell me if there is a diagram of such a critter out there..(a lighter fluid cannon I mean)? I could be wrong, but I just don't see the lighter fluid having enough "ooomph" to launch a missle

Jesus Christ, a pool of LOX? That's just too scary... I wouldn't let anyone or thing any where near "throwing" distance.

There is a great book on this stuff called 'Backyard Ballistics'. You can get it from Amazon.