Government Grants?!

Mar 07, 2005 6 Replies

Sometimes a telemarketer can be useful...for something other than landfill. In this case I even have to admire the creativity. About 7:30 tonight my phone rings and the caller ID gives a partial number of



001819. Ok, I'm curious so I pick up. Someone with a barely intelligible green card accent asks for "John", or so it sounds.

"Wrong number, there ain't no 'John' here, Mrs. Ayatolla."



"No, no, 'Charles' (now _that's_ a thick accent to twist my name into 'John'!), is this....and gives my number."



"Alright, just who IS this?!"



"I'm Indira Gandhi with the Government Grant Agency."



"Yeah, right, on a Sunday night. How stupid do you think I am?....well?.......hello?" Don't you love it when they hang up on you?



Like I said, that was a new one on me. I guess they ran out of people that voted for Bush and are working on those above 100 IQ now. But it got me to thinking. The government hands out grants for all kinds of weird reasons, maybe we can get in on it too. I know the space shot project I'm muddling through could use the economic boost, even $10k would be utterly fantastic. Certainly tater's Mercury-Little Joe project is going to need some marked monetary assistance. But I guess it's all in the wording. Hmmmm, let's see now....



"Feasibility study into homemade ICBM's that can carry Agent Orange to Washington accurately enough to cause the Bush Administration to enact martial law until such time as this threat of WMD's can be counteracted through further evolution of the species and politicians join the other Dodo's in oblivion."



That ought to be good for a cool million without even thinking about it!



All kidding aside, it couldn't hurt to look into it. Anyone got a suggestion where to look into this at?



Chuck



There is a guy that wares a suit with questions marks on TV that will sell you a book for $69 and tell you all you need to know to get a grant to get your GED, start a business , or go back to school.

.

LOL What's it's called? "Idiot's guide to stupidity"? ;-) Maybe I need to watch more TV, meaning watch TV period, if there's great comedy out there again...........

Chuck

AlMax wrote:

a book for $69 and tell you all you need to know to get a grant to get your GED, start a business , or go back to school.

>

ask your bank about grants.

Yes there is free money to be had. large businesses MUST by law give away a certain percentage of earnings to "help the local community"

I've been looking into it, and it seems that the paperwork can be daunting. but a lot of grants can go un-awarded, or awarded to the only applicant.

I once wrote an article for our club's now-defunct newsletter caller "Rocketry as Art." Maybe we can get rocketry classified as a kind of Performance Art and apply for a grant from the gummint committee that gives this stuff away. I figure we have at least as good a shot as that guy who put a cross into a jar of urine.

Bill Sullivan "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers".

- Henry VI, Act IV, Scene II

LOL What's it's called? "Idiot's guide to stupidity"? ;-) Maybe I need to watch more TV, meaning watch TV period, if there's great comedy out there again...........

Chuck

AlMax wrote:

There is a guy that wares a suit with questions marks on TV that will sell you a book for $69 and tell you all you need to know to get a grant to get your GED, start a business , or go back to school.

LOL What's it's called? "Idiot's guide to stupidity"? ;-) Maybe I need to watch more TV, meaning watch TV period, if there's great comedy out there again...........

Chuck

AlMax wrote:

There is a guy that wares a suit with questions marks on TV that will sell you a book for $69 and tell you all you need to know to get a grant to get your GED, start a business , or go back to school.

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