I found this on the Britmodeller site. It made me laugh because it is so true! I reckon I have done 94% of these...
In the RAF, a "plumber" is an armourer.
(I've added a couple of items myself)
You may be a Squadron Plumber if you've ever...
Slept on the concrete or under an aircraft Wished your aircraft would drop something on a politicians house Ever said "Oh yeah, it's supposed to look like that, Sir" Been told "It'll do a trip" by the Riggers/Sooties/Fairies/Leckies Fallen down a hole/trench in the dark, on a HAS site You consider hydraulic oil/Avtur, on food, an "acquired taste" Have sucked on Oxygen to cure a hangover Know what Avtur tastes like Used a black grease pencil to cover a "Worn to Limits" tyre Have sung rude songs in a bar, in a foreign country (and had to do an encore for the locals) Used a piece of lockwire as a toothpick Someone has stopped you before you curse at "The Management" over the radio Thrown your radio at a wall/dog/liney due to "Management Decisions" You refer to pilots as "Seat-to-Stick Interfaces" You've been tied to a 'S' type with "Tie-Wraps" and bodge tape, doused in vile (unmentionable) liquid and cleaned off by a fire hose/crash truck Got lost on a HAS site in the dark Worked a 14-hour shift to fix an aircraft that doesn't fly the next day Moved an aircraft "because it's on the wrong spot" B/F'd a jet in awful/freezing weather, only for the aircrew to cancel after engine start Stood in the pouring rain/howling blizzard for ages, because the aircrew changed their "Crew Walk" time Ever been hassled in the mess for shave/boots/uniform/smell after an early start, or a 14 hour shift Used the 'W' loaders to have a rally around the HAS site You talk to your plane (in your head still counts) Your spouse/partner/friends refuse to watch a TV show about planes, and you're in it Blamed the RAFP for turning the HAS site into a rally circuit You've ever said, "it was fine on the B/F" Used a chock as a hammer Called the WO "Matey" over the phone The only thing you remember about a city is where the good bars are B/F'd the wrong jet, in the wrong HAS, and sworn you're not at fault You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family Can yam a pint in under 10 seconds Can do the above standing on your head When you finish on a Friday, there are enough empty beer cans to build a plane to fly home on Ever looked in a book/magazine on aviation, for one of the Squadron's aircraft You've ever wished the aircrew said, "Great jet, thank you" Ever tried to clear a van by farting Cleared the crewroom after an evening of Guinness, curry and pickled eggs You relieve yourself more often outdoors than indoors, and a LOT of people, other than your Mother, have seen you do it You've worked 12-hour shifts, for all the detachment, while the non-Techies/Klingons went sight seeing/on the piss You can never figure out why your "14 days allowances" are gone after 3 days You can never get through a detachment without finding an ATM You have had to explain to your spouse/partner where "all the moneys gone" You can sleep anywhere, anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide-awake Most people think your job consists of waving your arms a lot Ever used a helmet, or chock, as a pillow "Slept it off" on top of the lockers in the locker room Vented a LOX-pot with a broom handle, to get Oxy to cure a hangover Been gouged by lock-wire (lock-wiring yourself to an aircraft counts) Stood on a chock to keep your feet dry Used snips to trim your fingernails Fallen asleep wearing a respirator Ever used PRC to fix a stripped screw Know what a "Grolly Bar" is used for Been a "Hangar Pilot" whilst riding brakes Used a rag spanner, just as the crew arrive Know what a rag spanner is Have thrown up 2 days in a row Have got the new guys drunk, just so you could laugh at them the next day Borrowed someone's beret to go to the mess/gen office Ever taken pride in grossing someone out (including someone's partner/wife) Made sure the first thing briefed on an exercise is the beer fund All you care about is the amount of TOIL the Squadron owes you, and constantly remind people of it Been "Pond-a-Grammed" for annoying the Riggers/Sooties/Fairies Hit the bar before you've unpacked Begged someone for their "Resolve"/"Gaviscon" Felt embarrassed by the aircrew turning up at the bar in their "Grow-Bags" Hated the fact that Klingons get jollies, and you don't Ever thrown something still living into liquid LOX/Nitrogen Wondered where they find the idiots that make up the new rules Have been woken up by the returning drunks turning all the lights on Returned drunk to the billet and woke everyone up by turning all the lights on. Woken up with ½ a moustache or one eyebrow Come back drunk and serenaded the lads Have had to defuel the jet, ½ hour after you refuelled it Been chased, in a foreign country, by local coppers for putting traffic cones on top of lamp posts Fallen asleep IN a meal Been on a Squadron where the guy held in the highest regard, is the guy who can skull a 6-pack, in under 5 minutes, and not throw Driven home and don't remember it You tell your peers you are getting divorced, and the first thing they ask is "selling anything?" You've gone to work straight from the bar You've gone rushing into work, driving like a loon, because you thought you heard "the hooter" You enjoy exercise food, cos it's free Done a B/F on "autopilot" Everyone you know has some kind of nickname You have thrown up, when you discover that the "Possible bird-strike", has gone through the engine You can eat a large meal, when sensible people are catching ZZZ's You have used compo sausages as currency.