How to make selected icons more visible?

How do I make the icons chosen in a menu more visible? When picking View>Toolbars, the toolbars in use are faintly highlighted. Is there a way to make the items more visible by 1) making the highlighting have more constrast, 2) having the icon have a dark line around it, 3) go back to the check box style? Along the same lines, when mating two components, it is hard to tell which mate is selected even after it is chosen, because the highlighting is so faint. Thanks in advance. Pedro