Bit of a laugh

Over 90 years old?

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Hence have avioded repeating it - but either it didnt reach a certain colony or was too subtle.

Cheers, Simon

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Err, I had a grandfather and seven great uncles (or whatever they're called) on the Western Front and a bloke up the road from here was the first man to successfully fly a heavier than air powered aircraft, while you're talking about jokes regarding bodily functions ...

Regards, Greg.P.

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Just after the Great War there was this fighter pilot who gave a talk to the older girls at an exclusive school. Pilot :- "So there I was with no ammo left, miles from home base and this fokker circling round behind me" Headmistress :- "If I may just interupt for a moment, I think I must explain to our young ladies that a Fokker was a type of german aircraft" Pilot :- "Actually ma'am this fokker was an Albatros"

Sorry, Simon

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The Tiger Tank was propably the most feared fighting machine of WWII but towards the end of the war many either broke down or ran out of fuel. The US foces took great pleasure using them at target practice.

The next generation of Tiger Tank was due to have electronic transmittion and a rear mounted turret but due to the shortage of copper they never got built.


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Dragon Heart

Not a lot of people know this but Anthony Fokker's first aircraft was called 'Spin 1'


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Dragon Heart

"Panther". British crews had no fear of Tigers because they could be easily surrounded.

There wasn't a single reliable British-built tank until the Comet entered service in 1944. The American-built Stuarts were immediately nicknamed "Honey" by British crews because they ran so well compared to any British-built vehicle.


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"kim" wrote in news:


Assuming that you survived long enough to "surround" said Tiger. I am reminded what just three of them managed at Villars Boscage.

The Panther would have been a truly great tank if (a) It's gearbox lasted more than a few miles before exploding (eventually fixed - sort of) and (b) the armour had been properly manufactured - German tank armour was notorious for its variable quality, the Panther suffered far worse than most because it armour plates were so large - and consequently difficult to make. The smaller panels on the MkIIIs and MkIVs were much easier to make. Granted it had the third best tank gun of the war the 75L70 - behind the 88L70 (of the Tiger II) and the 17pdr (and slightly later derivative the 77mmHV)of the British. Granted if you got a panther who's gearbox didn't explode and who's armour didn't shatter when someone spit at it you had a great vehicle but it was very much a case of pot luck.

And of course to the allies (especially the yanks who so very rarely faced German armour despite that which Hollywood would have us believe) every tank was a Tiger - that really says it all.

Matilda II, very, very reliable and kept in service all through the war. Only taken out of front line use in Europe because its turret ring was to small to take the larger turrets needed for 75mm guns.

The Valentine, granted not a main battle (medium) tank but a slow infantry tank (like the Matilda) but no reliability problems at all and even used post war (chassis, engine, transmission) in the Archer SPAT - exceptionally albeit surprisingly so effective weapon.

The Churchill from the MkIV onwards - again kept in use post war, some were even sent to Korea.

Crusader - fastest tank of the war but was the end of the line for that particular development tree.

Cromwell/Centaur - good enough, but (with the exception of some 95mmH gunned Cromwell CSs used by the Marines on D-Day) kept in second line use because the Comet was on the way.

At the other end of the scale the humble bren gun carrier (and untold variants) used throughout the war and post war.

Of course the great Sherman (which according to US sources won the war for us - well we paid enough for them) was always known as the "Tommie cooker" to the Germans because of its propensity to explode if farted at.

I might not know my "chuff-chuffs" but "bang-bangs" are another matter :-)

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And the British as the Ronsons.

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Christopher A. Lee

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