On 10 May, 22:12, "John Turner" wrote: " Someone please explain why ?
a) you measure the available space for a model railway, then construct the baseboard only to find that it's two inches (5cm to the unknowing) longer than the space available.
b) you measure your longest loco and make suitable allowance in the headshunt of your run round facility only to find after laying the track that the loco is too long for the headshunt.
c) you have six pints in the local and chat up the really gorgeous barmaid, only to find the next time you go for a pint that she's got hairy armpits and smokes & farts like a bloke - not to mention looking like a bloke too.
d) the wife asks you how she looks after spending two hours getting ready for the meal you're taking her for on your anniversary, you say fine, so sh breaks down in tears and say you didn't even look at her.
Any thoughts or other examples ? "
In order to possibly answer 'a' or 'b' I have to ask were these points discovered after 'c' ?
As for 'c' itself, it's possibly something similar to the things I use to see when 'working the door' at a couple of our local night clubs. For example guy out of his skull on drink swaggers / staggers up to a girl waiting for a taxi home and attempts to ask her our etc. etc. He remembers it as 'almost a pull' ( she has to go wash her hair or get up early next day for work ) and she is well impressed with him .... everyone else sees it as him leaning on her for support, being sick over her and getting a knee in a place where, due to the alcohol, does not register until the morning.
What can one say about 'd' .... we can send men to the moon, split the atom and even make rabbits glow green in the dark !! but, like the Lock Ness Monster, we may never really know the answer.
This may however answer your question
Adam was feeling lonely in the Garden of Eden, and so God said: "I can create a woman for you."
"What's that?" asked Adam.
"Oh, it's something really nice", God replied. "Lovely to look at, gentle, kind, sex whenever you want it, never has a headache..."
"Sounds great", said Adam, "but I bet it doesn't come cheap. What'll it cost me?" "An arm and a leg", God replied.
Adam thought about it for a minute, then asked: "What can I have for a rib?"
The rest is history...
OR
A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel.
Their double room reservation has been messed up and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds and there is a raised beam on the floor between the beds which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes.
When they go to bed the husband switches the light off and says to his wife "how about a bit of nookie then?" she agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying "oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you" She lies next to him in bed and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again her husband says " can't you pick your b$%@#y feet up woman."!!!
Hope this helps !