Door Hinges

Went by an ex-girlfriends place the other day... she'd talked me into keeping an eye on her place while out of town.

While there, I noticed her front door hinges were COMPLETELY dry, to the point of it being hard to move the door. The frame flexed, and you could hear it up the block. Huge heavy door, sporting 3 big beefy hinges.

Being the nice guy I am, I offered lube it.

I did it the day she came back, and did it right too... took the door down, cleaned out a couple of tablespoons of dry rust spooge, and put it all back together with a thin coat of white lithium grease.

What a difference! Once done the door would 'float' all the way from one end of it's travel to the other with only the slightest nudge. She was tickled pink at the time.

Now I'm catching hell about how anyone could 'just sneak in unannounced', and how she can't sleep anymore because of it... wants it put back like it was, and won't even discuss getting bells or some other noise maker.

Making matters worse, I went through this same scenario several years ago with someone else, and had even told her the story before I lubed the door. She'd thought it funny at the time.

Wish ol' Sam Kinnison were still around. Sure miss him sometimes.

You just can't win. Hope she doesn't up and sue my ass. She's the type that'd take a crack at it... and has successfully done it (to others) for less than this in the past.


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Spray the hinges with brake cleaner, then pee on em. Pee on them at least once a day, and she will have her noisy old doors back in no time.


"At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats." -- P.J. O'Rourke

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I find it quite ironic that the above is a perfect description... of right wing conservatives


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Well next time you do this, don't tell the story first. Sounds like precedence took over, either that or an extreme case of deja vu.


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This may sound cold, but you learned something I learned a some time ago, which was...Don't volunteer to fix things for people. Let them have to ask you to do it, as it adds a level of appreciation and accountablity to it. You will be taken for granted if you're always "Johnny-on-the-spot". This obviously does not apply to all situations, but for a lot of them. I finished a trailer hitch adapter for a guy a few years ago, who was struggling from an obvious lack of skills, and when done, he asked me what he owed me. I replied seriously that I loved potato chips, and that a large bag of chips would do. He laughed, taking it as a joke, and went on his way. Since then, he has asked me for several things, and has been refused each time, with me telling him that I never got my chips. He laughs, doesn't seem to take me seriously, and hasn't caught on YET. For those of you that don't get it, the object of this method is to see if a man will go out of his way to go to the store to get the chips for you, or whether he will dismiss you as being unworthy of HIS time. Appreciative people come back with the chips, get praised for being stand-up people, and get special consideration for next time.


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Ah! I now see where the "ex" part comes in. (: How to fix: remove a hinge pin, wipe off the grease, cover it in moist salt, (like salt water, but better) remove the other pins, and push the door over on her. Discard the salted pin.

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She was

There is a reason she is your ex-girlfriend. Sounds to me like she just reminded you of why. Ignore her whining about the door. If you feed the source of the whining, it will only grow stronger and more annoying.

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Roger Shoaf

Funny funny man, I'm sure he's in upper managment in hell by now. He was good therapy after I gave away everything I owned to the woman I loved :)

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Hell, I'd come back with at least a six pack to wash the chips down with... I've done a few things for a friend. Wanted to borrow his wire puller for a wiring project in my shop, he delivered it. The other day we got a dusting of snow, he drove 10 miles to come plow our driveway. It's a pleasure to do things for folks like that!


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Jon Anderson

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