Hey yall, this is the big day of the convoy to handle all the bastards who ridicule me. But nobodys here yet! WTF?
Obviously I could have taken care of this job all by myself with both hands tied behind my back. But I thought the least I could do for all my friends here is let them in on the fun. I guess you all had better things to do...shrug.
I put a lot of work into preparations. First I spent a years making myself look helpless in order to draw out the perps. Then I had to get the place ready for company. For example, in true Sir Galihead style I laid out my entire Heinlein collection to cover the septic seepage in case any of your old ladies was squeamish about ranch living. Now I have to dry every one of those out before they can go back on the shelf. And all the hard driver versions will need to be rebuilt, which means putting several cans of PB Blaster on layaway. In fact, I wasted so much energy on convoy preparations that now I have none left for taking on the mission myself. Frankly... very frankly, Im sorry to say that I should have given the opportunity to the Peoples Front of Judea instead of my friends here. Just so you know, all future ridiculing of me is YOUR fault for not showing up when you had the chance....shrug.