Captain Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there? Private Baldrick: I'm carving something on a bullet, sir. Captain Blackadder: What are you craving? Private Baldrick: I'm carving "Baldrick", sir. Captain Blackadder: Why? Private Baldrick: It's part of a cunning plan, sir. Captain Blackadder: Of course it is. Private Baldrick: You know how they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it? Captain Blackadder: Yes? Private Baldrick: Well I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'll never get hit by it. Cause I'll never shoot myself... Captain Blackadder: Oh, shame! Private Baldrick: And the chances of there being *two* bullets with my name on it are very small indeed. Captain Blackadder: Yes, it's not the only thing that is "very small indeed". Your brain for example- is brain's so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.