Sikorsky settles license dispute

Go figure. It could happen.
Kaliste Saloom #30703
IPMS/Acadiana Plastic Modelers Society
Lafayette, LA
Off the website:

April 1, 2006
Sikorsky Aircraft, a unit of United Technologies Corp (NYSE:UTX),
settling a long standing dispute between Sikorsky and the plastic model
manufacturing industry, to forestall a federal investigation and to
settle a civil lawsuit recently filed by the industry and a newly formed
grass roots organization comprised of key members of the Rec.model.scale
newsgroup calling themselves "Plastic Modelers for Free Access to
Military Images Paid for by Taxpayers", or "Sikorsky Sucks" for short,
yesterday agreed to accept the model industry's latest offer.
As part of a model building license Settlement Agreement, Sikorsky
agrees to pay for the full retail price for each kit manufactured with
its name or design, in effect making all kits free to the general
modeling public, in perpetuity, as an advertising surcharge to the model
manufacturers for positively marketing the Sikorsky name for generations
to past, present and future tax payers who will undoubtedly pay more
taxes to support its profitable military division, and to set up a fund
to subsidize a comprehensive health care plan for all plastic modelers
to pay for medical procedures associated with model related activities
such as Xacto blade stabbings, supergluing of fingers and a chronic
orthopedic condition known as "Apactra" caused by straining joints and
ligaments of the fingers, hands, and arms due to the inability to open
old paint jars.
In exchange for allowing free licensing for all tax payer funded
aircraft to the model industry to design, manufacture and market plastic
models of the aircraft, the industry and Sikorsky Sucks agreed to drop
its lawsuit and federal inquiry into incompetent management, corruption
and spending waste of tax dollars estimated in the billions, including
overcharging for military contracts, subjecting Sikorsky management to
hundreds of years in jail and tens of millions of dollars in personal
fines. Those changes were eagerly accepted by Sikorsky. Sikorsky stock
sank $10.00 per share, primary due to disappointment of greedy investors
but its credibility as a good corporate citizen rose to highest levels
since the invention of the helicopter.
Sikorsky issued the following statement:
"We acknowledge Sikorsky Sucks and the modeling industry for their
efforts at bringing this matter forward. We realize that we were being
shortsighted and greedy by expecting the general public to pay for use
of the images which they already paid us billions of dollars to produce.
Our profit margin has been enhanced primarily at taxpayer expense and
any short falls now incurred by our company are our own fault and should
not be placed on the backs of the modeling industry to support our poor
performance and top-heavy management overhead. Accordingly, Sikorsky
eagerly accepts the model industry's generous offer not to pursue jail
terms, heavy fines for our management, or a federal military and tax
audit. In return, Sikorsky will allow the model industry to manufacture
and sell plastic models of our aircraft license free. We really didn't
expect to charge for the licensing, but we just wanted to see if the
modeling industry and the general taxpaying public were paying
Sikorsky Aircraft Corporation is a world leader in helicopter design,
manufacturing, and service. United Technologies Corp., based in
Hartford, Conn., provides a broad range of high-technology products and
support services to the aerospace and building systems industries, and
now free licensing to the plastic modeling industry.
Media Contacts:
Ed Steadham
Bud Grebey
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Kaliste Saloom
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