Found elsewhere and shamelessly copied and pasted here:
The Lightning Pilot's Ten Commandments
1. Thou shalt not omit thy walk-round, lest thou rise into the heavens with
a cover or ground-lock in place. Nor shalt thou ignore thy checklist, for
many are the valves, switches, levers and handles waiting to take vengeance
upon thee, and weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth shall guide the
Rescue helicopter to thy dinghy.
2. Thou shalt not retract thy gear before thou hast achieved sufficient
airspeed, lest thy aeroplane sink back on to the runway into rivers of
hell-fire with the wheels in the wells and thou art sent on a rotary wing
conversion course. Verily, the love of a punchy take-off is the root of many
ills, but it is better in the eyes of the base commander to be a living dog
than a dead lion.
3. Thou shalt not allow thy centre of gravity be beyond limits, for the laws
of gravity shall surely judge the ignorant and the errant. Whatever British
Aerospace hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
4. Thou shalt look to thy left and to thy right as thou journeyest through
the skies, for behold the other aeroplane cometh quickly and thou shalt meet
it in the air, and thy fellow pilots shall be bound as is the custom to
comfort thy widow with soft words and in many other ways.
5. Thou shalt not buzz, lest thou incur the wrath of the Almighty with the
braid of gold and bring the fury of the high priests of the Temple of
Defence upon thine head and shoulders. For lo, many are the fools who perish
at low level when the aeroplane smiteth the birds of the air or the trees of
the field or the wires of the electricity company.
6. Thou shalt take good measure of thy fuel, for verily, a tankful of air at
10,000 feet is an abomination and as welcome as a plague of locusts. Yea,
and even more so upon departure. What profiteth a man that he hath a full
fuel bowser at the airfield yet perisheth by ignoring it to achieve his
commitment. For it is written that only a double reheat fire warning shall
cause thee to rejoice that thy fuel runneth below minimums.
7. Thou shalt not push through the scud at low level tail-chasing the F-111
of the Americanites, lest the angel Gabriel be waiting on the other side.
For pride goeth before destruction and it is written that the
cumulo-granitus is no respecter of aeroplanes without avionics blessed by
8. Thou shalt beware the prophets of the weather, for the truth is not
always upon them. Woe is to he who entereth the thunderstorm and hath his
missile head smitten by the hail of the Lord, but worse shall befall he who
hath his wings ripped from his chariot and is cast naked into the firmament.
9. Thou shalt not exceed thy g-limit beyond the number seven, lest thou
distort thy airframe and must go to the moneylenders of the temple. For it
is the custom that thou must buy the hewers of wood and drawers of water on
the Line a barrel of beer for thy transgressions. Verily, the reader of the
g-meter is all-seeing, and your sin will find you out.
10.Thou shalt observe thy landing limits and shall not approach high and
fast, for the ditch at the end of the runway lieth in wait for whomsoever it
may devour. Check frequently thy airspeed on final approach, lest the earth
rise up and smite thee, and forget not that the wise man ignoreth the
crosswind at his peril lest he reap the whirlwind of the ground loop.
- posted 13 years ago