Son of Homasote Follow-up.

Found out how to get all the Homasote I -and possibly you- will ever need.
Only big problem is that you've got to find the one guy at the commercial
desk in your local Lowe's retail outlet who can actually find his own ass
using both hands and an explicit set of directions... (Directions that are
preferably in VERY LARGE PRINT)..............and then deal with the
inevitable confusion that ensues when you ask a high school dropout working
for minimum wage to do anything other than flip burgers.
Turns out that Lowe's doesn't usually carry Homasote in stock at their
retail outlets because they don't sell enough of it to make it worthwhile
using up limited shelf space with something that doesn't move very quickly.
It also turns out that they *do* keep it in stock at their regional
warehouses, and the various retail outlets can and will order it for you in
whatever quantities you want, providing that you're willing to order it in
person, pay for it in advance, and pick it up a few days later. Also
providing that you can find the one guy in the entire store who knows (A)
that they *can* order it, (B) that they're *supposed* to order it, and (C)
how to find it on the computer and place the order.
All told, it took me about an hour of sifting through assorted Lowe's
employees on the phone until I found the right guy to talk to (Dave) and
then got him to give me the information I needed. Next day I went down to
place the order personally with Dave, as he'd asked me to, and got the
expected reply: "Dave's not here".
After a half-hour search of the store, during which the employee who'd first
set out to search for Dave forgot who he was looking for ("Dave? Dave's not
here."), it was discovered that Dave *was* there, sort of. He was asleep out
in his car in the parking lot... (Did I report him to his supervisor? No.
Dave *IS* the supervisor. He's also my only road to the Homasote.)
A freshly awakened Dave finally appeared (apparently after a lengthy shower
and shave) and did indeed order the Homasote for me.
He then handed me the two-foot-long receipt and said "Pay for it over
there", indicating the twenty-customer-long line ten feet to one side of
*his* cash register. Quoth I, "Uh, can't *you* take the money?".
Quoth he, "No, I'm a *supervisor*!"
Skipping lightly over the ensuing carnage, my Homasote order did in fact
arrive today; only three days after it was ordered. "And where did it come
from?", you ask? "The East Coast? Darkest Africa? A Siberian Gulag?"
Well, remember that new Lowe's regional warehouse I posted about last week?
The one with the interesting railroad car unloading system? The one that's
only eight miles from my home; actually closer to me than the nearest Lowe's
retail outlet?
Reply to
P. Roehling
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I'm glad your quest was successful. I'm not surprised that you were given much grief regarding its fulfilment. It's difficult to train good people when one prefers to sleep in their car instead. Or, was that his lunch break?
Cheers, John
Reply to
John Fraser
On 4/29/2008 11:20 PM P. Roehling spake thus:
[snip amusing & enlightening story]
Pete, are you sure you didn't mix up your experience with an episode of "Reaper"? Not sure whether you were describing Lowe's or "The Work Bench".
Reply to
David Nebenzahl

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