OT: but too good to keep to myself

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.

He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "You fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear"

Reply to
quietguy
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Reply to
Black Cloud

laughing your what off?

Reply to
MikeF

Rolliing On the Floor Laughing My Rear Off. I really try not to cuss so I clean things up.

:)

Reply to
Black Cloud

Mike, I figured that one out and was too embarrased to say anything about it. Four years playing with Uncle Sams Misguided Children wreaked havoc on my language and over 30 years later I am STILL trying to clean it up.

Reply to
Six_O'Clock_High

Naw, it goes this way- The guy goes into the Fairbanks bar, sees a big gallon jug full of $100 bills sitting up behind the bar. Asks the barkeep what this is about. Barkeep says- first you put your $100 into the jug, then there's 3 things you gotta do in order, and you win the whole pot. They are: 1. Chug down a gallon of Old Crow. 2.) There's a pit bull with a toothache tied up out back. You gotta pull his tooth.

3.) There's a 90 year old virgin upstairs. You gotta take care of her. Dude says "I'll do it" and puts his $100 in the jug, chugs down the Old Crow, and heads out back where the dog's tied. There arises this gawdawful racket of growling, crashing, screaming, yowling, and the guy comes back in all bloody and clothes shredded, and says "Now wheresh thish old broad with the toothache?"
Reply to
Bill Sheppard

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