As the keeper of that which is released only once per annum...

Good thing, too...
<g>
"At this festive time Mr. Scrooge said the gentleman taking up a pen. It is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight
provision for the poor and destitue of RMR, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries such as balsa, Fill-N-Finish, and sandpaper; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts such as motors, hybrid ground support equipment, and ignitors that actually ignite..."
THE RMR ROCKET CAROLS!!!
**** Bob Wiersbe's Stuff *****
Well, it's holiday time, so here's the annual posting of Rocket Carols
for you to sing (or whatever) at your holiday parties. May your fins go on
straight, your motors not cato, and your chutes always unfurl.
Happy Holidays!
Bob Wiersbe
Void where prohibited. Not responsible for any similarities whether real or implied. Intended as humor, not to be taken internally. All authors will remain anonymous. Enjoy!
E15's Are Coming to Town (to the tune of Santa Claus is...)
Oh, you'd better not launch, Better not try, Better not prep, I'm telling you why. E15s are coming to town!
Going up in the air, They'll likely go boom. Thirty-plus feet, Better give'em some room. E15s are coming to town!
They know when they've been heat-soaked, They know when they've been froze, They know when they've been stamped with "X", So never use one of those!
Oh, you'd better not launch, Better not try, Better not prep, I'm telling you why. E15s are coming to town!
To the tune of "Please Come Home for Christmas"
"Another year comes by.. I'm back and I'm Flyin' I look in the catalogue, I'm bored and I'm cryin'...
Re-issue for Christmas, Please re-do for Christmas... If not for Christmas- By NAR-AM time!
Archive visitations, and some re-creations, Sure as the stars shine above.. But this is Christmas, Christmas my dear... A time to build, the very kits we loved!
I don't want no silent night... Just `Snooper' and `Lander' To put in flight... Re-issue for Christmas, Please re-do for Christmas.. If not for Christmas, By NAR-AM time!"
Folly of DRI (to the tune of Jolly old Saint Nicholas)
Folly of the DRI, listen what I say! When you launch 800 pounds, stay out of the way. Build it out of concrete forms, oak beams for support, Cram huge motors in the rear, an O at last report. Use a J to pop the chutes, see the payload fly! Whoops the chutes got tangled up, now it's going to die! All the pieces you will find, strewn across the sand; All those bucks are down the drain, let's give them a hand!
Hark, the Heavy Rocket Pranged! (to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)
Hark, the heavy rocket pranged! Missed my car, well, I'll be danged! Parts on earth and in the sky, Just look at the owner cry! Quickly all ye people rise, Run for cover, shade your eyes! Let us all with one accord, Give to him the prang award! Hark, the heavy rocket pranged! Missed my car, well, I'll be danged!
Catos We Have Heard On High (my personal favorite) (to the tune of Angels We Have Heard On High)
Catos we have heard on high, Loudly sounding oer the plains. Must have been an FSI, Let's go try to find remains.
Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato! Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato!
Yes, he used an E60, Staged it to a D18! Guess I'll try a C5-3, Catos like you've never seen!
Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato! Glor---or----ious! Please just one more Cato!
Silver Streaks (to the tune of Silver Bells)
Heavy rockets, cluster rockets, In a Kankakee field. In the air there's the smell of perchlorate. People prepping, people loading, By the launch pad they kneel, And with ev'ry new launch you will hear:
Silver Streaks, Silver Streaks, Let's start a fire in the country. Golly-durn! See it burn! Firemen are on the way!
There's a brush fire, yes a grass fire And it's out of control, As the fliers rush back to their pickups. Hear the flame crack, get the kids back, Water buckets aren't full, And above all this bustle you hear:
Silver Streaks, Silver Streaks, Let's start a fire in the country. Golly-durn! See it burn! Firemen are on the way!
***** Added by Ted Cochran, Xmas 2000 *****
See the motor, Streaking sideways, Burning range in its wake, In the air there's the wail of sirens.
Fifty pumpers are responding from all over the state. Soon it will be Headline News!
[refrain]
--tc
My opinions only.
***** End Ted *****
Mars Lander (to the tune of White Christmas)
I'm dreaming of a Mars Lander, Just like the one I used to own. When I got the itchin', I didn't listen, and I never should have flown.
I'm dreaming of a Mars Lander, The one I landed in the trees. Now I'm asking Estes, oh please! Someday would you re-release it, please?
T-Shirt Song (to the tune of "Christmas Song" you know, "Chestnuts roasting..")
T-shirts offered up on R.M.R, Jerry branching out in clothes. You'll find out just how gullible you are, And Jerry stoops to brand new lows.
Everybody knows a T-shirt isn't hard to make, Get some cotton and some dye. Just more proof that Jerry is a fake, And what he says is just a lie.
When he has the cash he goes away, He's off and plotting schemes to try another day. And every customer is gonna try, To keep from kissing their hard earned cash good-bye.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase, To kids from one to ninety two. Although it's been said many times, many ways, Jerry Irvine, Screwed You!
***** End Wiersbe *****
***** From Bunny's Archive *****
Ok, I'm just the pack rat here. All the real credit goes to Bob W...... = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Rocket Flight (to the tune Silent Night)
Rocket Flight! Awesome Sight! Flame so long, Flame so bright! 'Round the launching pads, smothered in cloud, Thrust the motors, burning so loud! Rise into the blue sky! Rise into the blue sky.
Rocket Flight! Awesome Sight! Launch crews gaze, at the sight! K550's in Magnums to race, Side by side, all heading for space! Trailing smoke in the sky! Trailing smoke in the sky.
It Came Upon A Day So Clear (to the tune of It Came Upon A Midnight Clear)
It came upon a day so clear, that glorious flight of old, With aircraft circling near the earth, we had the launch to hold: But now it leaves, good time to send the rockets away on the wing, The range in rocket exhaust did lay, and heard the motors ring.
Down through the cloudless skies they come, with peaceful chutes unfurled; And still the many rockets float, above the weary world: Above the pads and waiting range, they hang on hovering string, And ever oer the timers head, the rockets gently swing.
We Wish You Would Go Away (tto: We Wish You A Merry Christmas)
We wish you would go away, we wish you would go away, we wish you would go away, and leave us alone! Get out of our lives, and take your dumb bin, We don't need a license, or the BATF!
Now bring us some thermalite, Now bring us some thermalite, Now bring us some thermalite, Now bring us some here!
We won't go until we get some, We won't go until we get some, We won't go until we get some, So bring us some here!
We all like our thermalite, We all like our thermalite, We all like our thermalite, So bring us some here!
We wish you would go away, we wish you would go away, we wish you would go away, and leave us alone! Get out of our lives, and take your dumb bin, We don't need a license, or the BATF!
Away in a Desert.
Away in a desert, no shade for our head With lots of large rockets for launching instead The sun in the bright sky looks down where we play It makes us so thirsty and heats up the day.
There's no need for mowing, the hot sun just bakes But we'll keep on launching until our head aches The rockets are flying for miles in the sky And landing downrange in the desert so dry.
A rainstorm is coming, it's time to shut down And pack up our rockets to head into town We'd better get moving and get out of here Let's go in to Bruno's and have us a beer. <- Tripoli version Let's go in to Vegas and have us a beer. <- NAR version
God rest ye merry rocketmen
God rest ye merry rocketmen, let nothing you dismay For tho it's cold and wet outside, you'll fly again someday And launch those birds into the sky, to watch them drift away.
Oh tidings of waivers and more, waivers and more! Oh tidings of waivers and more!
Deck the Field (to Deck the Halls)
Deck the field with pads and rockets Fa la la la la, la la la la Got a lawyer in our pockets Fa la la la la, la la la la Don't we know it's time to sue 'em Fa la la la, la la la, la la la la We won't stop until we do 'em Fa la la la la, la la la la
Joy to the World
Joy to the world, the change has come! Let men their chutes deploy! The FAA has changed the rules, And now our case is won, And now our case is won, And now, and now our case is won!
We beat the Feds, the time has come, To launch some larger birds! We'll take them out, and prep them up, Let's use a G or H, Let's use a G or H, Let's use, let's use a G or H!
Now we will launch my Saturn V, No waiver we will need! It weighs 2 pounds, and stages too, But it meets the current rules, But it meets the current rules, But it meets, it meets the current rules!
RMS (to the tune of Jingle Bells)
RMS, RMS, RM all the way! Oh what fun it is to prep with a reload casing, hey! RMS, RMS, RM all the way! Oh what fun it is to prep with a reload casing, hey!
Slashing through the sky, with a reload grain of "J", Through the air we go, smoking all the way! Motors are so loud, making flames so bright, What fun it is to fly and sing a reload song tonight!
RMS, RMS, RM all the way! Oh what fun it is to prep with a reload casing, hey! RMS, RMS, RM all the way! Oh what fun it is to prep with a reload casing, hey!
Hark, the heavy rocket pranged!
Hark, the heavy rocket pranged! Missed my car, well, I'll be danged! Parts on earth and in the sky, Just look at the owner cry! Quickly all ye people rise, Run for cover, shade your eyes! Let us all with one accord, Give to him the prang award! Hark, the heavy rocket pranged! Missed my car, well, I'll be danged!
Oh Little Firm of Aerotech
Oh little firm of Aerotech, how still we see thee lie, You got in trouble with the law, now reloads we can't buy. And now inside a backroom the Feds your fate decides, Perhaps you'll get to sell them soon, and pay a fine besides.
How silently, how silently, you from the board resign, You can't make motors up to spec, and won't change the design. Now take your motors elsewhere to get them certified, If they still fail to meet the specs, you still will be denied.
Catos We Have Heard On High
Catos we have heard on high, Loudly sounding oer the plains. Must have been an FSI, Let's go try to find remains.
Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato! Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato!
Yes, he used an E60, Staged it to a D18! Guess I'll try a C5-3, Catos like you've never seen!
Glor---or----ious! What a mid-air Cato! Glor---or----ious! Please just one more Cato!
Bunny the Short Eared Rabbit (To the tune of Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Bunny the short eared rabbit, Had a brilliant NAR career. And if you ever saw him, You would know his goal was clear. All of the other NAR-ers, Used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Bunny Play in any rocket games. Then one foggy voting year, Miller came to say: Bunny with your ears so clear, Won't you run the NAR this year. Then how the NAR-ers loved him As they shouted out with glee. Bunny the short eared rabbit, You'll go down in history.
Silver Streaks (to the tune of Silver Bells)
Heavy rockets, cluster rockets, In a Kankakee field. In the air there's a smoke trail of rockets. People prepping, people loading, By the launch pad they kneeled, And with ev'ry new launch you will hear:
Silver Streaks, Silver Streaks, Let's start a fire in the country. Golly-durn! See it burn! Firemen are on the way!
There's a brush fire, yes a grass fire And it's out of control, As the fliers rush back to their pickups. Hear the flame crack, get the kids back, Water buckets aren't full, And above all this bustle you hear:
Silver Streaks, Silver Streaks, Let's start a fire in the country. Golly-durn! See it burn! Firemen are on the way!
Mars Lander (to the tune of White Christmas)
I'm dreaming of a Mars Lander, Just like the one I used to own. When I got the itchin', I didn't listen, and I never should have flown.
I'm dreaming of a Mars Lander, The one I landed in the trees. Now I'm asking Estes, oh please! Someday would you re-release it, please?
E15s are coming to town (to the tune of Santa Claus is...)
Oh, you'd better not launch, Better not try, Better not prep, I'm telling you why. E15s are coming to town!
Going up in the air, They'll likely go boom. Thirty-plus feet, Better give'em some room. E15s are coming to town!
They know when they've been heat-soaked, They know when they've been froze, They know when they've been stamped with "X", So never use one of those!
Oh, you'd better not launch, Better not try, Better not prep, I'm telling you why. E15s are coming to town!
The Last NARAM (to the tune of The First Noel)
The last NARAM, the contestants did say, Was in certain respects good, and more than okay. With prangs and chuffs and catos as well, We all left for home with stories to tell.
NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, Target photography by Astrocam.
They looked up and saw radar, Standing in the east beyond them far. And to this tow'r the rockets did drift, Causing NASA to panic and really get miffed.
NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, Target photography by Astrocam.
They handed out awards to the best, Except for the prizes promised by Quest. And Estes was quite miserly too, But with all of their lawsuits, well what can you do?
NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, Target photography by Astrocam.
Then elected they, the wise men three: Barber, Gassaway, and Bunny. Jay Apt did show the earth from on high, and as he left the field did fly by.
NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, NARAM, Target photography by Astrocam.
O E15 (to the tune of O Christmas Tree)
O E15, O E15, How faithful are thy Catos! O E15, O E15, How faithful are thy Catos! Use not alone, or multiples, Because they really tend to blow; O E15, O E15, How faithful are thy Catos!
I used one in my Mean Machine, The fireball was really keen; They boom for us when they get old, Six months at best or if it's cold; A voice tells me they've been recalled, But not before my head went bald; From standing near when they went boom, I swept the mess up with a broom;
O E15, O E15, How faithful are thy Catos!
Folly of DRI (to the tune of Jolly old Saint Nicholas)
Folly of the DRI, listen what I say! When you launch 800 pounds, stay out of the way. Build it out of concrete forms, oak beams for support, Cram huge motors in the rear, an O at last report, Use a J to pop the chutes, see the payload fly! Whoops the chutes got tangled up, now it's going to die! All the pieces you will find, strewn across the sand; All those bucks are down the drain, let's give them a hand!
MRED (to the tune of "Mr. Ed") A corpse is a corpse, of course, of course And no one can talk to a corpse, of course That is, of course, unless the corpse is the famous MRED.
Dangerous Dave merged with Microbrick, That is until chemicals made him sick. He's heading on a legal course, suing MRED.
Dave will yackity yack a streak, and call for his back pay, But MRED will rarely speak, unless it's to answer "No Way!"
So MRED is now a corpse, of course, And no one invests in corpse, of course. You never heard of a talking corpse? Well listen to this! I was MRED!
To the tune of "Please Come Home for Christmas"
"Another year comes by.. I'm back and I'm Flyin' I look in the catalogue, I'm bored and I'm cryin'...
Re-issue for Christmas, Please re-do for Christmas... If not for Christmas- By NAR-AM time!
Archive visitations, and some re-creations, Sure as the stars shine above.. But this is Christmas, Christmas my dear... A time to build, the very kits we loved!
I don't want no silent night... Just `Snooper' and `Lander' To put in flight... Re-issue for Christmas, Please re-do for Christmas.. If not for Christmas, By NAR-AM time!"
***** End Bunny *****
***** Contributed by Peter Clay, Xmas 2000 *****
It's the day we have chosen, but the ground's white and frozen. It's rotten, but hey, we'll go anyway, Launching in a Winter Wonderland.
In the air, snowflakes glisten. On the range, people listen. We'll count down from ten, and do it again, Launching in a Winter Wonderland.
In the morning we can build a snowman, And pretend that she is Sally Ride. She'll say, "boys, do you know what you're doing?" (Of course we do, we've all been certified.)
Later on, we'll retire (when we've put out the fire) we're happy tonight, they all flew allright, Launching in a Winter Wonderland.
YAY!
Merry Christmas All!!!
<vbg>
tah
--
Tod A. Hilty
Hilty Information Systems
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writes:

A while back I deposited these all at http://www.encompasserve.org/~kaplow_r/rocket_carols.txt so you can enjoy them year-round. Just the thing in case you ever encounter Christmas in July.
BTW, I think there's a couple duplicates in the post...
--
Bob Kaplow NAR # 18L >>> To reply, there's no internet on Mars (yet)! <<<
Kaplow Klips & Baffle: http://nira-rocketry.org/Document/MayJun00.pdf
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On 21 Dec 2005 14:41:36 -0600, kaplow snipped-for-privacy@encompasserve.org.mars (Bob Kaplow) wrote:

Once a year's probably enough Bob, wouldn't you agree?
<g>

Oh that I don't doubt, but you can never have enough of a great thing, now can you?
<g>
Have you been subjected to the "rudolph radio" stream yet? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 6.02x10^23 different ways?
tah
--
Tod A. Hilty
Hilty Information Systems
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I miss Bob.
Randy www.vernarockets.com
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I actually got an email from him today.
--
Bob Kaplow NAR # 18L >>> To reply, there's no internet on Mars (yet)! <<<
Kaplow Klips & Baffle: http://nira-rocketry.org/Document/MayJun00.pdf
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Got a second note from BobW. He does still follow RMR and said to say HI to all his old friends. He's also looking for a copy of one of his "missing" carols, the one about FSI to the tune of American Pie. If any one has it, please either post it here, or email it to me, and I'll get it back to Bob.
--
Bob Kaplow NAR # 18L >>> To reply, there's no internet on Mars (yet)! <<<
Kaplow Klips & Baffle: http://nira-rocketry.org/Document/MayJun00.pdf
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