Please help me with (insert task here)

To save time and bandwidth, I have boiled down the vast majority of postings to this newsgroup into a quick and dirty little format that
can speed things up. Please follow this format from now on in this group.
Please kind ( insert platitudes here, or addreess titles i.e. Sirs or Madames),
I am a new (insert job function or social status here, i.e. Student, Engineer, Electrician, Homeowner etc.)
<optional> from (insert non-english speaking country)
and I have this (insert task here, i.e. homework assignment, personal project, project assigned to me, problem with my appliance etc.).
I know (insert qualifications here, i.e. next to nothing, very little, a little, enough to be dangerous etc.) about electricity,
but was hoping that you all could help me to (restate task here, but without saying what you really mean, i.e. do my homework for me, get me out of a jam, help me to avoid paying a professional to do it correctly, get me through this day without having to think, avoid electrocuting myself or my loved ones etc).
I hope to hear from you soon.
Nooby Nooberson
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Bob Ferapples wrote:

i have a question that maybe you can help with.
if conventional current is the flow of holes, and holes are essentially nothing, how does any work get done?
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In boot camp, there used to be a lot of work done 'moving holes'. You know, dig the hole where the sargent says, he comes by later and says 'fill it in'. You finish filling it in and he walks over five feet and says, "dig it here." ( a whole lot of work 'moving' the hole five feet)
daestrom
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daestrom wrote:

as the US military is all volunteer now i guess you could call it an elective motive force.
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Ba-Da-Boom!!!
Thank you, thank you, we're here all week, try the roast beef......
daestrom
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Why would you be trying to save time? You obviously have nothing better to do and your post is a big waste of bandwidth.
Bob Ferapples wrote:

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This whole thread sucked up a couple Gigawidths.
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Ummmm it was a joke.

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