When I was a kid, I worked in a big S***s auto center putting in batteries amongst other things... we put in 75 or a hundred some days, with the customers standing and milling about all the while.
The display batteries used in the show room were just empty cases, and had plastic terminal posts.
One day they discontinued a line of batteries and pulled the display from the show room... we got hold of it, rinsed, and filled it with water and drank out of it all day in the installation area.
Got some pretty amazing reactions... all the way from 'yea yea, how bout that' to being tackled... guess you really had to be there.
Some of my friends tried that stunt when a National Champ was visiting,. only they also loaded his gun with slugs figuring there was no way he could hit a skeet with slugs. Hit them he did, drilling 12 ga holes in them.
There is a tavern/bar in the N.WI. area that is filled with stuff like that. There is a little "picture door" in the men's (probably the women's also) bathroom that says peep hole to the women's. If you open the door it says something like the bar has been informed that you opened it.
The plumber from Ok. always fakes me out when he shows up on the job where foam from insulated pools or pump cleaning sponges are around that are covered with gunite and tosses them at me when I'm busy. They look like rocks even up close.
This one is a little cruel, but necessary at times. You need a real prick of an arrogant airline pilot who's been making everyone's life miserable. Has to be a hot summer day. Open both cockpit windows due to the fumes, paint the pilot's seat cushion liberally with MEK and let it evaporate. Prick comes out later and takes his seat, his sweaty ass reactivates the evils in the seat. Shortly after takeoff, his ass is on fire. Probably gets up to where he can turn it over to the co-pilot, goes in the fwd. lav. and washes his nasty arrogant pilot hindquaters. The burning stops until he gets to the next station, until he puts on his cap that has also had the leather brim inside douched with MEK. Sometimes it takes more than one treatment on the dumb ones, but it usually breaks them of sucking eggs.
WRT the "hollow" display batteries... Was wandering thorugh a Sears with a friend of mine, and came upon a rack of them. No fore-planning or anything, just a spur of the moment "wonder how he'll react?" thing - Grabbed one (doing the appropriate "shit this thing is heavy" motions/grunts), and said hey, Marc! CATCH! and heaved the "heavy" battery at him. He, of course, braced and tried catch it (rather than just stepping out of the way as I'dmost likely have done) and when it made contact, he launched forward through a tire display since he was braced for a heavy impact. Tires everywhere, cussing clerks, a dozen howling with laughter customers, and me standing there trying desperately (and failing miserably) to look innocent while he untangled himself from the tires, cussing a blue streak the whole whole time.
We were escorted out of the store and ever-so-politely requested never to return. By the time we hit the door, he was laughing almost as hard as the customers, and the security guy was trying his damnedest to keep a straight face (but like myself, failing misearbly)
If someone has a favourite coffee mug drill a hole in it using a small drill. Fill the hole with chocolate. It well melt after filling with hot coffee but usually holds long enough for them to get back to their desk or bench.
One trick I did was when the firm I was working for had a new phone system fitted . This allowed all users to dial out from their desks the system having replaced a manual switch board and operator. It was a while ago when push button phones had just replaced dials here in the UK. It was also the time that Domestic Video recorders came on the market. Noticing that the little numbers that came with video tape were identical in size and colour to those that were on the phone I relabeled the buttons to read vertically instead of horizontally with the exception of button 9 which remains in the same position anyway.
This was important ,here in UK 999 is used for the emergency calls and to alter that would be stupid. However pressing 9 once gave access to the outside so the user got a dialling signal. And then of course lots of wrong numbers. I had intended only to wind up one office girl who regularly annoyed me and reveal the secret after about half an Hour. Instead I forgot and went out to visit customers. It turned out to be a quiet day. The Girl did not leave any messages or use the pager allday. Then I remembered and realised why. Next Morning I had some explaining to do,they had even called the system installers who also did not notice the number change until they substituted the phone and saw them side by side.
Santa is probably going to get me , but I told my girls I wanted an aluminum magnet like my metal magnet. Sad part is they have been to several places and the sales people are looking for them too.
Boss needed a new motor in his company car. We wanted to put a new or rebuilt engine in. He insisted he could get a good used motor from the junk yard. Few days later in came in with a "like new" engine from a junk yard. He bragged about how new it was and how he got a good deal on it. When we pulled his old one out we dumped about a gallon of old transmission oil down the exhaust pipe that was just sticking up in the engine bay. He came in when the engine was installed and took it for a test drive and when it got hot boy did that thing smoke.
In the early fifties, our neighbor Herbert was the king of practical jokes.
He was at his best on a deer hunt to the Texas Hill Country. It was cold and rainy and near midnight when we arrived. Daddy had fashioned an early pickup camper out of some wagon bows and a cotton duck tarp. Three of us were in the back and Herbert, Daddy and Ross in the cab. Herbert said he couldn't find the ranch we were to hunt on, which might have been true. He stopped at a small house where the porch light was on. He talked Ross in to getting out in the rain and knocking on the door to ask for directions. He is knocking on the door and getting soaked. Running out of patience, he returns to the truck. Herbert is laughing so hard, he can hardly point to the sign above the porch light of the little country Post Office.
Grease on the wiper blades can be quite amusing. In the shop when you put grease or something nasty under a handle always put a shop rag nearby that the receiver can use to clean his hands. Just make sure there is a gazillion little screws or what-nots in it when he grabs it.
Removing the shot, and refilling the shell with paper punch dots, sparkle glitter or other interesting substances, and then slipping a couple of them into a trapshooters pouch is an interesting amusement.
Pull!! FOOOOP! (raining glitter or punch dots)
Tends to give a fellow a flinch, expecting the next round to be a blooper.
Gunner
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, nonaddictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or the secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
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By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is under warranty to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Gee, I wonder if you can get a rolled-up flag on a stick that says "BANG!" into a shell...
;-)
I'd suggest that you could slip a 12-gauge boat flare in there, make the guy think he's firing tracer rounds... But in brushy areas the local Fire Department would have a heart attack at the thought.
Boat flare? Nah...so tame. A couple rounds of Dragons Breath is far more interesting.....
Gunner
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, nonaddictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or the secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
May you have a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the world great, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, political belief, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is under warranty to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Sunworshipper wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:
That was "Willies" in Nelma Wisconsin....Sadly, it burned down a few years ago. Remember the life size "cabbage patch" doll setting on one of the commodes in the mens john during deer season?
On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 09:29:14 GMT, Gunner calmly ranted:
I just looked up "dragon's breath" and they look like fun. Wouldn't those exothermic pyrophoric muthas melt or otherwise damage your shotgun barrel?
Here is Rev. A to the aforequoted document, sir:
What follows is what, perhaps, happens when lawyers write greeting cards...
From me, ("the wishor") To you ("hereinafter called the wishee") and those you care about ("hereinafter called the washees")
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non- addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that
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This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
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A girl friend of SWMBO had the misfortune to have a sister who operated a key punch. After Judy's wedding, said sister dumped a grocery bag of "confetti" down the vent intake of her car - never did get it all out, even though their dad worked at the dealership and got a good discount on family work. Gerry :-)} London, Canada
Now that brings up a memory... My dad used to manufacture heavy shredding equipment much like the one seen at the following URL:
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We spent about 4 hours punching holes in paper before I remembered he had these... We showed up with about 10 bags of newspaper recycling and sent it through the shredder 3-4 times. Each piece of paper was about 1/2" square by the time we were done but ragged enough to look like snow.
We covered a friend's car at school in July with the stuff. Really messy! She walked over to teh car, laughed, brushed off her driver's door and windshield and drove off.
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