So, I'm in a big box store looking for a non-disk MP3 player that would use
110vac. It seems that most are recharged from a computer USB cable. The little kid in the department didn't know the products at all, I understood them better in a quick walk around. He said there's no such thing, until I handed him a wall-wart with a USB plug on it. I said, with a bit of sarcasm: "Thanks anyway, I'll get what I need on eBay, you might want to at least try to learn a little about what you're selling!"About then my phone starts vibrating and I start searching jacket pockets for it on the way out. I get stopped at the door and told to go to the office. OK. In the office I am confronted by the manager and he tells me, a bit rudely, that an employee saw me pocketing merchandise from the MP3 department. I said: "I have not stolen anything, What do we do now?" He started to respond while looking down his nose but I cut him off saying: "First, call the police." He said they were already on the way. "Second, you can strip search me if you like but it has to be on the sales floor and if you find anything that doesn't belong to me, I will give you a certified check for $20,000 however, if you don't find anything, you give my naked ass on your sales floor a gift card for $1,000...in front of everybody. (The place was packed and I was looking forward to it.)
Just then, the local cop, Lieutenant Larry walked in, looked at me and said: "Hi Tom, how the hell are ya'?" I told him: "About to be very cold" and proceed to tell him the WHOLE story. Larry looks at the manager and says: "Do you want me to rough him up a bit before I strip him down on your sales floor?" The manager starts to stutter and Larry asks me to wait outside. I then hear a person get called to the office shortly followed by this kid walking to the office with a triumphant smirk aimed at me. A minute later the door opens and the manager asks me if I would accept a $50 gift certificate and an apology. In the background I could see this poor little boy, beet red as Larry was explaining the repercussions of false accusations. I looked at the manager with sunken shoulders and said: "Ya' mean the strip-search is off, DAMN?"
I guess I just look the type...NOT!