Good reflexes

Talk about 'duck and weave'!. Had to do a re-key on a country acreage property just south of here yesterday afternoon. Big sprawling homestead, dogs, horses, cattle, you get the picture. Anyway, finished the house and the lady said she wanted the work shed down the back re-keyed also. She handed me the keys and I drove down to the shed. I put the key in the side door and opened the door, then WHOOSH, a huge bush axe just misses my head, then out from the side cavity in the wall comes a bloody great steel spike, just missing my knee caps, and embedding it's self into the door jamb. I pushed the door closed against the axe, which was hung from the steel rafters by a heavy wire cable and had a 2ft chunk of railway track attached to the bottom of the handle as a counter weight, and went up to the homestead to 'tear a strip' off this bloody woman. She apologised profusely as she forgot to warm me of her ex- husbands 'booby traps'. Seems this guy was paranoid about getting his tools stolen. Needless to say I did not re-key her fri**in shed and I put another $25 on her bill for 'danger money' and promptly drove home to wash out my underpants.