They are missing all the fun. I bet at the Utah burger chains, the assistant managers have to go through an "intiatory" where they wash their hands. And then they go through a ceremony called a "meeting" where they learn all the company secrets, and learn how to do the secret burger flip. If they remain true, faithful, employed, and on the 401k plan, they are given eternal burger joints. With endless teenage female assistant managers, so they can populate the burger joints.
Now you know the big secret of Celestial Burger. They never need to hire employees, as long as the manager remains true and faithful. By the way, it's a magic apron, with the Celestial Burger seal over the left breast. Get with the program, man!
I hope no one believes a word of that, but I sure had a lot of fun writing it.