[OT] Great funeral

Sounds like a good sendoff! Godspeed to him.

Eide

Condolences . Ken Cutt

I admire you for being able to have a good time at your father's funeral. He'd be proud of you.

Abrasha

Chuckle..my condolences of course.

When its my turn to pass..the specs of my will, are gonna raise a bunch of eyebrows...not the least is the piper sans kilt.

Gunner

"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire. Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us) off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the shit out of you for torturing the cat." Gunner

Hmm. Can you keep one on tap before you go? Seems like a difficult role to fill. (Easier close to LA and if you don't care about the quality of the music.)

I have friends in the "Folk Music" community, which includes a number of pipers. I know of several who would relish standing in their skivies, with the appropriate coat, playing Amazing Grace for my "service". The single biggest issue is finding enough hookers without everyone getting busted.

As I said...the specs will raise some eyebrows..but not for those who know me well.

Gunner

"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire. Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us) off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the shit out of you for torturing the cat." Gunner

My condoliance too! You father go to the Holly God!

My condolences... Sounds like you'll be missing your father...

My wishes go out to you. You were wise to bring them home from a place like that. No matter how nice they are, they're still not home. Even though it was a lot of work for you, he appreciated it.

Jim

My condolences. Getting them out of the nursing home was the most important thing to me. Glad he had an enjoyable send off. Karl

We cared for my mom at our home for over 4 years unitl she became completly unable to move. She is an alzheimers paitent, and finally got to the point where she was 100% bedridden. We hung on for 6 months, giving her 24 hour care unitl we simply could not do it anymore. She would be unresponsive for days at a time. We where sure she was dying and wanted her to do so at home. All the rest of my family scattered. You sure learn who is for real and who isn't during those sort of things. Exausted, we finally moved her to a nursing facility up the road, a great place, where her physical heatlth improved greatly. Her mind is pretty much not there anymore, but she is being better taken care of than we could do. Still, every time we visit, we still want to take her home.

It stinks to have your body outlive your mind.

So my condolances. it is refreshing to see folks with a good outlook on the whole thing. Good for you for taking him out of the nursing home and taking care of him. We've walked that path, you have my respect. It really is the right thing to do, if it possible. When we had my mom here, it was shocking to me to see how many of our "friends" and relatives said things like "I don't know why your keeping her here, she belongs in a home..."

-AL A.

Yea, we have a large extended family, many cousins, no one sent their parents to a home. I think it comes down to mostly planning, and planning early, like when you just begin working, and assume at some point in your life you won't be working for 5 to 10 years to take care of your parents, if you do that the process becomes much easier.

But obviously things happen, though, and life doesn't go as planned, and you may not have the skill/resources to care for your parents properly, so nursing homes are the best option in some cases. But I know a lot of people who think taking off from work is not even a option they would consider, their life plan assumes nothing bad will ever happen to them or their family.

Condolences, Tom. We did the same for my Scottish MIL. Interestingly, at her sendoff, a lot of older folks expressed serious doubts that any of their kids would have done the same for them.

Say, he must have been a real character, judging by your posts. ;-) Got any anecdotes? There's a cold Guinness in the fridge and I'm looking for a good reason to pop it open.

Best regards, Spehro Pefhany

True, but only marginally. I spent the better part of this summer helping my mom who was hospitalized several times for a variety of serious problems. Eventually she went to rehab in a nursing home, and while it was bad for her being so terribly disabled and yet still acutely aware of what was going on. Worse because she retired from her job as a nurse while she was hospitalized.

It was bad but we both realized that problems like your mom's were a great deal tougher. I think that anything you do to make her life better in any way at all, is a graceful act. Like you say, in a situation like that, you really see who sticks and who doesn't.

Jim

Another argument against at-home care is, there are some medical conditions that really do require a higher level of care than is practical at home. For some actute illnesses, being in a nursing home really is better because there are more highly trained staff right there at hand at all times.

Jim

Gunner

So are they gonna put a $20 gold piece on your watch chain and bury you in your high top Stetson hat?

(with apologies to "St. James Infirmary")

Mac

You are right, Jim, neither option is very palatable. That must have been tough on your mom. I guess that if you keep you mind but your body fails, it is agony for you. If your mind fails and your body holds up, it is agony for those around you. At this point, my mother is healthy and blissfully unaware of her condition. The blessing in it all is that she smiles and laughs, though none of us know about what! She is not one of those poor folks who lays about the place crying that they want to go home or whatever.

And as far as seeing who sticks and who dosen't, the truly surprising thing to me was the people that always seemed to be casual aquaintences that came through in a huge way when we really needed help. It was impressive in a few instances.

I learned great respect for anyone who walks that path. Every story is different, but none are easy.

One of the most shocking parts is the number of people that will tell you that you are nuts for taking care of your parent. That caused me to lose a fair bit of respect for some people I once thought more highly of.

Thanks for listening...

Al A.

Sorry to hear about your dad. But it does make a funeral great when lots of people attend. You realise how many friends the person had, and that tempers the sadness a little and makes the occasion.

Chris