On the heels of Bush's reelection victory and in an opening bid to strengthen the "No Child Left Behind" act, an F-16 strafed the Little Egg Harbor Middle School in New Jersey last night with approximately 25 rounds of 20mm fire.
"We couldn't leave those kids behind to suffer another five or six years of humiliating torture and ultimate brain death," said the pilot. "The compassionate thing to do was to put them out of their misery before the teachers got their hands on them."
Told that school is closed at night and that no students had been left behind there, the pilot commented, "Oh. Then, never mind."