Real, rhyming poems for engineers...

I'm guessing it is different to "The Engineer" in AA Milne's "Now We Are Six"...?

An Airy Bean poetry competition? In which case it must be time to reprise the almost legendary saga of the Bean and the hacksaw kit, first published some two years ago. In honour of this auspicious occasion I have added a new third verse....

Not long ago in this fair, noble land stood Airy of Bean with a saw in his hand. Trying quite vainly to cut yonder steel that for e'en a child t'would've been no big deal. "Fie and a pox, why this job is a chore" cried Airy of Bean, his arms greatly sore, "I've nay half the strength of a big hairy nutter, I'm off aye to buy me a magical cutter".

Henceforth to Donnington Airy did roam o'er hill, dale and tussock - past Hobbit and Gnome, to find the much fabled Black Man of Gates with wholesomely goods at much cheaply rates. "Good trader pray help" quoth Airy of Bean "my needs are much grave for a certain machine". "I have one just here sir, a stout little hacksaw, for groats I'll deliver it right to your front door".

He reached in his tunic, all dark damp and sweaty "This'll cost me a lot, and I'm no John Paul Getty". Groat after groat did he count out with pain watching his finances shrivel and wane. At last he had paid, save one groat from the lot, and Black Man of Gates said "One more, for the pot?" But Airy of Bean had turned tail back to Chippenham, "They can get stuffed if they think that I'm tipping 'em".

Airy of Bean, his knees all a quiver did unpack his goods, with nay further dither. And then didst he shriek a fair terrible cry, through layers of sacking the beast did he spy. "What low deed is this, this base hunk of metal - what ignorant knave has buggered my fettle? I'll rant and I'll rave, I'll turn the air blue, that Black Man of Gates - why I might even sue!"

But then did a shiver strike Airy of Bean, "That Black Man of Gates is quite hefty and mean. I'll trouble him not, t'would send him in rages, I'll log on the nette and pester the Sages". So scribble he did, to groups engineering "Lis't to me now of my tales not endearing". And so they did listen, and gave this reply "Send the thing back, he`ll replace by and by".

"He won't" wailed the Bean, his ague much indignant. "He will" cried the Sages "tis written in pigment". "Weighs nigh on eight pounds" exclaimed Bean "that's quite scary!". The Sages replied "Thou art just a big fairy". So Airy of Bean, his comments rebuffed, considered his plight, feeling nay not that chuffed. "I know what I'll do, I'll show them who'll win - I'll toss the whole lot in my wastepaper bin!"

Here endeth the tale of Airy of Bean but something's not right, or so it would seem. Why shell out good groats for an item that's faulty then chuck it away, in a mood foul and haughty? Can it be true, was it really that bad, is Airy of Bean aye really that sad? No-one will know, for it lies in a bucket.... was it just broken...or did he just f*ck it.

Regards,

Since you pointed this out, the "poem" should scan thusly:

ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti-ti Tum-ti

with feminine rhymes (scheme aabba) on each line.

In message , David Littlewood writes

but still wrong!

The verse shown as

In and out went the prick of steel, Up and out went the level of steam.

should be

In and out went the prick of steel Round and round went the bl**dy great wheel

Up and up went the level of steam Down and down went the level of cream

Linked off the good Ms. Hotdesking's site. Danger: may offend, over 18s only etc..

Yea, verily, a modern classic, forsooth...

On Tue, 06 Mar 2007 09:09:45 +0000, Stephen Howard

You must've been there then ;-)

Regards, Tony

Which it does, as long as you remember that the introductory ti on each line is optional. I expect you read the last line as "no NEED to count UP to sevENS", which would be a common fault in inexperienced readers. Don't worry about it.

Ian

In article , Jane Sullivan writes

Yes, you're right; I don't think I read it all through. Always the problem when you think you know something!

David

In article , Andrew Robert Breen writes

Even more amusing variations.... Thanks for the link.

David

Although I was mostly a lurker when Airy was in his pomp I can't understand how I missed this superb saga, most entertaining. Have I also missed the sequel re his run in with the evil men of the Sheriff of Chippenham, or is that a pleasure to come? Hope so this was really good. Now a collection like this really would be worth =A312.50.

Regards

Keith

You could dissolve it with meths, though.

To get the thread just slightly back to uk.r, when I were a lad, one of my father's friends worked for BR Research. At that time his workplace must have been somewhere in the sarf-east, or in London, although he subsequently moved to Derby.

Anyway, known to be slightly interested in electronics, I was presented with a couple of germanium power transistors (OC-2x) which BR Research had modified by the attachment of small pipe fittings to allow coolant to be circulated. They were said to have handled considerable amounts of power.

But the poetry takes me back to school rugby...

Richard D.

Spamtrapped at ngsATradixDASHdesignDOTcoDOTuk

No offence taken!

I would be pleased to offer signed copies post-free (Normally £1-19p inland, £2-11p to Common Market countries, £3-70p to USA) to all those who have refrained from gratuitous childish outburst!

Send £12-50p plus name for dedication to address previously advertised

Delivery by first-class post.

"Peter Fox" wrote in message news:+ snipped-for-privacy@eminent.demon.co.uk...

Some clean engineering verse here:

I have a picture of another Great Closed Maritime Museum for you, BTW (Porthmadoc, March 2007..)

Clean as in "safe to view from work".

I've been to some open non-naval museums lately!

:)

Coo. Anything especially good?

I am probably preaching to the converted but my favourite closed museum has never been open 8^) See

Museum of Childhood (short walk from Bethnal Green tube) is great fun. B/f is a Miffy fan and they had a Miffy's 50th birthday display. We trotted about like loons pointing out toys we remembered and toys we'd wanted. Upstaris is about childhood over the last couple of hundred years.